373 Surviving and Thriving: Dr. Judy Ho on How to Heal and Build Stronger Relationships

On this episode of Christopher Lochhead: Follow Your Different, we have an insightful conversation with Dr. Judy Ho, a renowned clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, to explore attachment theory and its impact on personal and professional relationships. Dr. Judy Ho explains how early caregiver relationships shape our emotional responses and interactions throughout life. They also discuss the nature versus nurture debate, cultural influences on empathy, and the potential for healing attachment wounds at any age. This episode also delves into managing negative self-talk and understanding attachment styles, offering practical strategies for fostering healthier relationships and personal growth. You’re listening to Christopher Lochhead: Follow Your Different. We are the real dialogue podcast for people with a different mind. So get your mind in a different place, and hey ho, let’s go. Dr. Judy Ho on Attachment Theory Attachment theory, as explained by Dr. Judy Ho, is a psychological model that describes the dynamics of long-term interpersonal relationships between humans. It focuses on the bond formed with primary caregivers during early childhood, which lays the foundation for how individuals perceive themselves and navigate challenges in life. This bond is crucial because, as infants, we are entirely dependent on adults for survival. The lessons learned during this formative period are deeply ingrained, influencing our behavior and emotional responses well into adulthood. Christopher Lochhead brings up the nature versus nurture debate, questioning whether core human qualities like love and empathy are innate or learned. Dr. Judy Ho explains that these traits are a combination of both biological drives and environmental influences. While there may be an innate tendency to care for those we are related to, much of how we express love and empathy is shaped by our environment and the behaviors modeled by others. Cultural Influences on Empathy and Generosity Christopher shares a personal story about an encounter with an immigrant in distress, highlighting cultural differences in perceptions of generosity and empathy. Dr. Ho notes that culture significantly shapes our values and behaviors. In individualistic cultures like the United States, personal independence is often prioritized, whereas collectivist cultures emphasize community support and shared resources. This cultural context can profoundly influence how individuals respond to acts of kindness and generosity. Dr. Judy Ho on Healing at Any Age The conversation shifts to the possibility of healing attachment wounds, even for those who have experienced difficult childhoods. Dr. Ho reassures listeners that healing is possible at any age, regardless of whether the original caregivers are available for discussion. The key is to develop a secure attachment to oneself, which involves recognizing and addressing the patterns formed due to past experiences. Christopher reflects on the concept of "re-parenting" oneself, a process he learned about in his early twenties. Dr. Ho explains that this involves revisiting past experiences and providing oneself with the nurturing and support that may have been lacking during childhood. It is essential to understand that many individuals carry the misconception that they are to blame for their caregivers' shortcomings, leading to negative self-talk and a distorted self-image. To hear more from Dr. Judy Ho & her thoughts on self-healing and building healthy relationships, download and listen to this episode. Bio Dr. Judy Ho is a triple board-certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, television and media personality, and tenured associate professor at Pepperdine University. She specializes in evidence-based therapies for mental health and has published extensively on various psychological topics. Dr. Ho is also the author of Stop Self-Sabotage, focusing on personal growth and overcoming self-defeating behaviors.