Zachary Zane (Boyslut) on Sex, Sexuality, and Sexual Expression, among other things
Nov 21, 2023
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Author and sex expert Zachary Zane discusses bisexuality, kinks, overcoming shame, and the importance of open and honest discussions about sexual expression. They explore the significance of visibility for minority groups, the exploration of sexual desires and boundaries, and taking time to explore one's sexuality without pressure. The conversation also touches on Zachary Zane's book 'Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto' and the speakers' own sexual fantasies involving Michael P. Jordan and Jake Gyllenhaal.
Overcoming sexual shame and embracing one's desires is crucial for a healthy sexual expression.
Representation of diverse narratives, including bisexual perspectives, is essential in the LGBTQ+ community.
Open and honest communication about sex, consent, and risk awareness is vital for a fulfilling and safe sexual experience.
Deep dives
Embracing Sexual Shame and Challenging Norms
In this podcast episode, Zachary Zane discusses the importance of overcoming sexual shame and embracing one's sexual desires. He highlights the need for more diverse narratives in the LGBTQ+ community, particularly from bisexual perspectives. Zane emphasizes the significance of open and honest conversations about sex and encourages individuals to explore their own desires without judgment or shame. He also addresses the misconception that all gay men engage in extreme sexual activities, emphasizing that it's important to respect and accept everyone's sexual preferences, whether they are vanilla or kinky.
Chapter 11: Creating a Safe Space for Extreme Kinks
Chapter 11 of Zane's book, Boyslap, delves into the world of extreme kinks and the importance of providing a safe space to discuss them. Zane shares his experiences and preferences, normalizing the diverse range of sexual desires that exist. He highlights that indulging in extreme kinks can be intimate and tender, challenging the notion that they are simply performative or taboo. By creating an open dialogue around these topics, Zane aims to empower individuals to embrace their own unique desires.
The Controversial Discussion on Condom Usage
Zane's book sparked controversy with the chapter discussing condom usage and the risk-aware consensual approach to sexual activities. While some readers expressed concern over the topic, Zane stresses the importance of informed consent and openly discussing risks with sexual partners. He explains his own decision not to use condoms, given his awareness of the potential risks and the use of preventative measures such as PrEP. Zane advocates for honest communication and consent in sexual encounters, allowing individuals to make informed decisions about their own sexual health.
Exploring Different Types of Sex and Sexual Intimacy
The podcast episode delves into the importance of recognizing and accepting the diverse range of sexual experiences and intimacies. It highlights that sex encompasses various forms, including kinky, intimate, and loving encounters. The speaker emphasizes that all types of sex should be normalized and seen as valid, regardless of personal preferences or societal expectations. By exploring and understanding different types of sexual experiences, individuals can better communicate their desires, create safe spaces for exploration, and establish healthier relationships.
Importance of Education and Communication in Sexuality
The podcast episode discusses the significance of education and communication in sexuality. It emphasizes the need to educate oneself by reading books, articles, or accessing reliable online resources that provide information about different aspects of sex, including kinks and fetishes. The episode highlights the importance of having open and honest conversations with partners about sexual preferences, boundaries, and risks. It emphasizes that consent and communication are essential in fostering positive sexual experiences and creating a safe environment for exploration. The speaker also challenges societal stigmas around certain sexual preferences and encourages individuals to make informed choices and decisions about their own bodies and sexual experiences.
Jason and Brett talk to sexpert Zachary Zane (Boyslut) about bisexuality, kinks, overcoming shame, and the importance of talking openly and honestly about sexual expression in its many forms. In case the title of the episode doesn't make it clear: sex comes up a lot in this episode.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, culture, and the LGBTQ+ community. He is the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. He’s also the coauthor of Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever.
He has two columns: “Sexplain It” the sex and relationship advice column at Men’s Health and “Navigating Non-Monogamy” at Cosmo, where he shares all the mistakes he’s made in his polyamory journey, so you don’t have to.
He is also the founder and editor in chief of Boyslut zine, which publishes real sex stories from kinksters worldwide. His work on sexuality and relationships has been published in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, the Washington Post, GQ, OUT, and many others.
