The Key to Becoming Unbothered

Ever wish you could be unbothered—the kind of person who doesn’t spiral when things go sideways? In today’s devotional, Laura Bailey shares a heartfelt story about her friend’s tough day, a voicemail full of frustration, and a powerful moment of conviction from the Holy Spirit.

What started as venting turned into a moment of humility—and a reminder that being “unbothered” doesn’t mean we ignore hurt. It means we choose grace over pride.

As Romans 12:3 tells us:

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, by the faith God has distributed to each of you.” (NIV)

Let this be your reminder:
Being unbothered doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you care more about the person than the problem.

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Full Transcript Below:

Becoming Unbothered

By: Laura Bailey 

“ For by the grace given me, I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, by the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Romans 12:3 NIV

“Petty Patty is coming at you live. " Tears of laughter rolled down my cheeks as I listened to my friend’s voicemail. She shared about a situation she was dealing with, airing her frustrations, pointing out the hypocrisy of the problem, and expressing her general annoyance with this particular group of people.

My friend is one of the kindest people I know. She will give the shirt off her back and bring you a home-cooked meal at the hint of oncoming sickness. She is always the first to sign up and the last to leave, and she is one of the most generous people I’ve ever met. She is not one to complain; typically, that’s my role in our friendship. So, I knew she was upset, not just from her three-minute-long voicemail.

“Oh my word, I am so sorry. Did you just get my voicemail?” my friend quickly spouted as she answered my call. “I did. Whew, tell me about your day. It sounds like it was a doozy,” I teased. “Laura, I am sorry. Yes, I had a bad day and am incredibly frustrated, but I shouldn’t have said those things about my co-workers. Please forgive me.”

She expanded upon why she was upset and then shared how the Holy Spirit immediately convicted her after she left the voicemail. “I want to be unbothered. You know, the person who just lets things go, realizing it's not a big deal in the grand scheme. And honestly, my irritation stems more from hurt pride than anything else,” she confided. 

As she spoke, I recalled numerous times when I’d flown off the handle, vented to anyone who would listen, and critically shared about people who drove me crazy. How would my response to a perceived slight, purposeful hurt, or a potential oversight be if I took a more unbothered approach? I am not suggesting that we ignore when people cause us harm, but we don’t allow our feelings and emotions to run wild. We root our responses in humility and not pride. 

Paul, in writing to the church of Romans, who was having a difficult time getting along, shares, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, by the faith God has distributed to each of you ( Romans 12:3)  Look at Paul’s opening statement, he says that it by the grace given to him he shares this hard truth. Grace is getting something we don’t deserve, and in this case, Paul is talking about God’s grace on humanity by sending His son, Jesus. 

When we realize that we need grace, and God gives it abundantly, we can grant grace to others. Paul shares the not-so-secret tip for fostering good relationships: think of others over yourself. It’s the golden rule: " Do to others as you would have them do to you.” 

Would you want someone to tarnish your name before you are allowed to explain? How often are our words and actions misunderstood, taken incorrectly, or simply miscommunicated? When dealing with others, we must acknowledge and accept that we can unintentionally cause harm and desire grace, mercy, and love when you do.

Letting go isn’t easy or even a natural response, but as Paul points out, we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us in our weakness and display the fruits of the Spirit through our faith. Being unbothered doesn’t mean you don’t care; you simply value the person more than the problem. 

My friend could have easily elaborated on all the ways she felt wronged, yet she used that opportunity to ask where she was potentially at fault and chose to grant grace and forgiveness instead. As my pastor shared in his sermon recently, “You’ll never forget doing the right thing.” My friend doesn’t, and I hope to do the same. 

Intersecting Faith and Life:
Can you think of a time when you let your feelings get out of control? How did that affect your relationship? Jot down ways you can become “unbothered” in your relationships.

For Further Reading:
Philippians 2:5-11

5 Prayers to Pray for Difficult Family Relationships

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