Fatherhood Field Notes Ep. 523 When to Show Mercy to Your Kiddos
In this episode of Fatherhood Field Notes: The Craft of Fatherhood, host Ned Schaut gets real about the tension between being a “fun dad” and a responsible parent. Reflecting on moments with his teens and college-aged kids, Ned shares how easy it is to say yes to dirt bikes, hangouts, and late-night drives—but how crucial it is to also enforce accountability, chores, and responsibility. Through candid stories about family dinners, devotions, and even shutting down screen time, he explores how fatherhood shifts with each season—from raising young kids to guiding adult children—and why dads must lead their homes with love, calm firmness, and consistency. At the heart of the conversation is learning when to hold the line and when to step back—when to enforce discipline and when to show mercy. Ned opens up about moments where he intentionally stayed quiet, choosing relationship over reaction, and how that practice can change the way kids respond. With practical tips, raw honesty, and affirmations like “I am the CEO of this house” and “I will not surrender my responsibility to lead this home,” this short but powerful episode challenges fathers to ask: Do I need to say yes more, no more—or show mercy more often?
Chapters:
- 00:00:00 – Welcome to Fatherhood Field Notes
- 00:01:32 – “Good Dad, Shitty Parent”
- 00:03:52 – Balancing fun dad vs. structured parent
- 00:06:27 – Tip 1: Present a united front; don’t say “because mom wants it”
- 00:07:14 – Tip 2: Know when to stay silent
- 00:08:00 – Tip 3: Enforce consequences (screen time off for missed devotions)
- 00:08:51 – Tip 4: Balance saying yes and no
- 00:09:54 – Parenting beyond 18—shift into advisor role
- 00:12:15 – Affirmation 1: “I am the CEO of this house”
- 00:13:49 – Affirmation 2: “I will not surrender my responsibility to lead”
Links and Resources:
- Transform Your Body with Ned & RUK Fitness:
- RUK Fitness
- This episode is sponsored by The Adventure of Fatherhood
- Order The Adventure of Fatherhood children's book here
- Check out the TEDx
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