Episode Highlights With Dr. Shefali

Why she wrote this parenting book and how this one is the how-to for parents
How we can move away from control and into connection with our kids
The chaos and nonsense we can create as parents without realizing it
How parents accidentally create the cycle of dysfunction in families
No human being likes to be controlled and how this control backfires with children
How to depersonalize interactions with our kids to calm the situation
Anytime you perceive it as a loss of control, you are going to lose control
Why kids aren’t trying to be disrespectful and when we fail to understand what is going on under the behavior, we create more of their behavior
Looking for Signs: Something inside gone negative
The three reasons children misbehave: lack of skill, lack of life experience, lack of worth and how to help each of these
What a savior complex is and how it harms our relationship with our children
How showing up as the savior disempowers them and makes things tougher in the long run
Ways to teach our children to carry to oars of their own saving
Developmentally appropriate ways to nurture this in our children
Why she claims that our children don’t owe us respect (and I agree)
How punishment and learning are opposed and how to actually help them learn
Why not to have outcome focused parenting (trying to raise happy, successful children) and how this can keep them from being in touch with their feelings
Teach your children to be authentic instead of teaching them to be happy
Creating successful children is an unhealthy goal, and what to do instead
How to navigate this method of parenting when parents disagree on method of parenting
What to do when kids are angry, disrespectful, unmotivated, or lie and how to build better connection in these instances
It’s about being more conscious not perfect

Resources We Mention

The Parenting Map: Step-by-Step Solutions to Consciously Create the Ultimate Parent-Child Relationship by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Dr. Shefali - Website
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Charles Eisenstein - The Gift and our Collective Story (#22)