SFR 192: My Coaching Contract Pt. 2...

Boom! What's going on everyone. It's Steve Larsen. This is Sales Funnel Radio and today I'm gonna do Part Two of my Coaching Contract.

I've spent the last four years learning from the most brilliant marketers today. And now I've left my nine-to-five to take the plunge and build my million dollar business.

The real question is, how will I do it without VC funding or debt completely from scratch? This podcast is here to give you the answer.

Join me and follow along as I learn, apply, and share marketing strategies to grow my online business using only today's best internet sales funnels.

My name is Steve Larsen and welcome to Sales Funnel Radio.

What's up guys? Hey, I had to chop us into two different episodes because it was a little bit longer. So anyway, this is the second half. I'm gonna pick right up where I left off. I'm going through 14 different rules that I make somebody follow when I decide and agree to coach them, or consult for them. So you're gonna start hearing these rules.

If you've not heard Part One, I'd go back and listen to that before you listen to this. It'll make more sense.

This is a result of me watching, not only just the marketing patterns that make somebody successful but the attitudes that have made someone successful.

What it is that they've been willing to enter into when I say, "Hey, here's the marketing piece. Hey cool, check it out... " And they're like, "I don't know if I'm willing to do that?" And 'why' they say that... or 'why' they're willing to dive in? So these are cool!

These are rules that I've written off the top of my head.

So just sort of a recap; I go in, and  I make them agree to a few things. This is a relationship, okay? So they're gonna do some things and then when they do, I will do these other things as well, okay?

I don't just go 100% without them going a hundred also. I match and I lean into the level that they are willing to be leaning as well.

Alright, hope you guys enjoy this. Let's cut right over to this...

This next part. I'm gonna go a little faster here.

Number Seven: "If you earnestly attempt to answer all questions on your own, then I will coach you to the answer."

This is a big one.

You guys remember there was a podcast episode I did a little bit ago called, My Greatest Asset. If you've not watched it, it went nuts. There was like 700 views within the first two hours on that video before I ever released it as an episode. That was crazy. That episode was freakin' awesome.

And what's interesting is one of the biggest issues that I find with people's attitudes is that they're like, "Well, I don't know where to find the answer for that?" Man, freakin' Google exists, alright? "Well, Steven, I just don't know how to do this and this anymore." YouTube it!

Holy crap, there's never been a time when there's been so much information readily available for everybody with such a lack of discipline on how to get it.

It drives me nuts, okay? So they're never allowed to just ask me.

This comes from a specific person in my history...

There was a leader that I had over a whole group of us, and anytime we had a question, he wouldn't ever answer it.

We were like, "Um, so what do we do about this, this, and this?" He was like, "Yeah, what would you do about that?"  And it drove us nuts! We'd be like, "Whoa, we don't know that's why we were gonna ask you!"  It's frustrating.

We were all so mad at the dude forever. And  he's like, he's like, "Oh man, yeah I wonder where you can find that out?"

For like six months, the dude never answered a question of ours, and it drove me nuts. Eventually, he told us, "Guys, my goal is to make you self-sufficient, not give you all the answers."

That was a huge lesson that has served me ever since that experience. That was eight or nine years ago. He was awesome. He changed my life just with that one lesson.

So when people come to me, if it's like a super tactical thing, I might help answer the question for them, but when it's a dumb question...

Whoever said there's no such thing as a stupid question? That's a stupid quote, okay! There is such a thing as a stupid question. It's the question that someone took no thought to try and answer on their own before they asked somebody else! Does that make sense? That's stupid. Stupid questions exist. Earnestly attempt to answer.

Number Eight: "You gotta buy success with your own time."

Somebody complimented me once on something I had done, and I said, "Oh, thanks. I bought it with my time." And they're like, "What do you mean?" I'd have lost a bunch of weight, and somebody was like, "Oh man, you're looking great." I was like, "Oh thanks, I bought the results with my time."

It was a super weird response, and I knew it was. They're like, "What do you mean?” I was like, "Well, you know, while most people are doing this, this, and this, I was exercising, or not eating." Does that make sense?

I found out like some people who are in this course that I was doing they were spending like maybe 10 minutes a day on what we were teachin' 'em and then they were like, "This doesn't work!" I was like, "You're not working." It's so stupid.

Does 10 minutes a day sound like obsession? No, and if you can't get obsessed over what you're learning or you're trying to do? You're probably not in the right thing.

It's easy for me to dominate in this game because I'm obsessed about the game. No one needs to make me obsessed with the game, you know. I mean no one 's like, "Alright, today, item number one on today's agenda, obsession."  It's just there, alright, it's just there - it's inside.

Number NIne:  "Take imperfect action viciously. Just run man."

I'm not waiting to teach people the next step for when they have 100% perfection in the thing. I wait till I can see they're at like the 80% level. Meaning, in the level of understanding or the funnels.

If the funnels 80% good, just go! Like yeah, could we keep tweaking it, but let's just go. I go at 80%.

Number Ten: "Don't freak out at the clock."

This is a big one. When people freak out at the clock, this is what happens: The first time I was ever doing that 2 Comma Club Coaching thing, it's a year-long program... and two months in, there was this slew of people who started asking me, "Steven, how long do we have this for?" I was like "Why are you asking this right now? You've been in for two months, and you're killin' it. You have all these assets ready, and we're finally ready to go build funnels."

This happened the week we were supposed to start puttin' the funnel together, start writing a webinar script, or whatever - slightly bigger tasks. I was like, "Why are they asking this?"

What was funny about that is I started realizing that where we were in the course was where all the things started coming together and they had to start building crap - meaning they weren't just watching videos anymore. They weren't just answering something in a workbook - they were doing the thing. It was time to stop studying how to drive a car and get behind the wheel-  the engine's on, it's a stick shift, and that things in gear - they're ready to let off the clutch and start going.

I was like, "Why are you asking this?" and I realized, "Oh crap, it's because of where we are - the work is starting now.”

 

So I try to get people to take action imperfectly and not freak out over trying to make everything amazing. Don't freak out over the clock - if it's taking longer than what you expected it to be. "Yeah duh! It always does."

One of my favorite quotes is: It'll take you longer than you think, but not as long as you fear. That has stayed in my mind - it's been a motto of mine for a long time.

It's like an exponential curve; no progress/ no cash, no progress/ no cash, a little progress/ a little cash, lots of progress/ not much cash, lots of progress/ not much cash, lots of progress/ lots of cash! It's this exponential curve that just pops right out of the gate. Super exciting, very, very cool.

Number 11: “If you chose to be uncomfortable every day, then I will promise to help create environments for positive stress.”

This is a big one.

There's eustress, and there's distress - not all stress is the same.

When I'm looking at my three-year-old and my five-year-old, and I'm trying to craft a learning environment for them. If I can see they start exiting eustress and entering distress, I know I need to stop.

 

Meaning, I have a chore list for 'em, and I'll ask them to do this, this, this, and this... And to a three and a five-year-old, some of the things on that chore list might be kind of challenging, and I get that - I'm watching them.

Eustress comes from euphoria - it's positive stress. It's stress that is growth stress. It's sculpting, and it's shifting, it's good for the individual.

Distress, that's destructive - that's the negative kind. Bad anxiety, right? Really, bad. It's when someone feels overwhelmed, overloaded - they're gonna die. They start entering into destructive habits. That's destructive. That's distress.

I want eustress for my customers all the time. And that's one of the reasons why my stuff is awesome, but also why my stuff is sometimes hard for people to take in... Cause I know that they must grow as an individual, not just a funnel.

They must grow as an individual to even pull off the funnel, right? That's what it is to become an attractive character. There are things inside of you that you need to work on, overcome, focus on, expand, or contract.

I try and do something challenging and uncomfortable every single day. This morning I did not want to lift. I did not wanna exercise this morning. Holy crap, a lot of stuff going on for me right now. I was like, "I don't want to." I didn't really wanna lift, but I thought about this, and I was like, "Alright, let's do it!"

Number 12: "Be brutally honest about where you are. If you're brutally honest about where you are, then I will applaud your progress."

If anyone of you guys goes out and rents a freakin' Lamborghini, takes a picture in front of it and puts it on their Facebook profile page to become a "professional." I'm gonna slap ya - especially if you're a student, consultant, or client of mine - or something like that. Nope!

Be brutally honest about where you are. That's one of the fastest paths to progression I've ever seen in my entire life.

Every time I've done that and I've been honest about where I am, and where I am not - being okay with that when someone asks me, that's cool, that's awesome. People like to follow you more because of that than anything else - it's really fun.

Alright, next one, almost done here.

Number 13:  “If you will kill all parts of your old self or the elements of your old self you need to kill.”

There might be all of your old self you need to kill, or there may be pieces of you that you gotta leave behind when you move forward...  that's fine, that's part of the game.

I always laugh at songs... There are these popular songs out today, I hate listening to the radio 'cause the rhythm is the same. It's the same pattern for all their songs. I love music. I studied a lot of music theory in high school. I was a music theory guy for a while, and so I hate radio music most of the time 'cause it's all the same junk.

It's funny; there are songs making fun of the top label songs. They're all the exact same four chords, and they're all, anyway, anyway, whatever. I forgot where I was going with that I love the topic of music.

Anyway, anyway, yeah, there's parts of your old self you gotta go kill - and be okay with that. That's 100% okay.

It can be challenging for an individual to do that. It can be challenging for people to leave behind parts of themselves, right? One of the biggest mistakes I made when my wife and I got married is I thought like, "Well, I gotta be a husband now."  So I sold my full kit drum set. That was stupid. I sold my longboard. I sold all the crap that made me, me - thinking like, "Well, I'm an adult." And that's garbage. I'm not talking about that kind of crap. I'm talking about fears and things inside of you that you gotta get rid of. You might have to kill other parts of you, in general, to move on to the next phase - and that's totally fine.

I don't lean too hard into that one specifically because people know that answer themselves. I'm not gonna know that about them - only they will know that.

Number 14:  “If you will lean into my training/ coaching/ my consulting, (or whatever it is), then I will also lean in.”

 

I don't carry the ball. I teach you how to carry it.

I don't carry the player and the ball. If I can see you're running hard and you're actually doing stuff, and you drop the ball, I might pick it up, but I don't ever pick up the player and ball. Does that make sense?

So if you will lean in, I will as well. I will match your intensity.

So I just wanted to walk through the rules that I have (there's more, but those are the ones off the top of my head).

There are rules that I have whenever I coach somebody, or I enter into consulting.

A lot of it has to do with what I've seen in the past actually works when somebody makes a successful funnel.

When somebody says things like, "You know Stephen, I really need this to work. Is it gonna work this time? Are you gonna be there to help me?"

A lady reached out once and said, "Hey, I wanna buy your product, but will you be there to motivate me when I am feeling down?" And I said, "Absolutely not." And she goes, "Excuse me?" I said, "I am not here to motivate you. Motivation comes from within. You make your own motivation."

Motivation sucks, right? Discipline is greater than motivation. I'm not here to motivate you. I'm here to teach you how to do stuff.

If you can't bring motivation to the table the moment I leave, (or let's say I can't be on a call one week), you die internally. There's nothing inside of you to depend on. You've haven't created anything inside of you. You haven't callused the mind enough in your own way. You've not created enough of a relationship with you to move forward and do the crap on your own.

What the heck happens when the program ends, and you're left thinking, "Did I learn anything?" You did everything, but I had to motivate you to do it.

I do not believe in motivating people.

You might, you might get motivated by what I say, and that's great. I get motivated when I listen to a whole bunch of motivational videos on YouTube -  which I listen to frequently. But I know that motivation is like willpower, it dies. It's like a muscle - eventually, it gives out. Motivation is weak. Discipline is greater than motivation.

So as you go through and you start thinking about this and as I've kind of walked through these rules, the biggest thing I'd suggest to you is to figure out what disciplines you'd like to take on?

 

Don’t make a shopping list full of disciplines you wanna go take on at once - just do one. Like, "Hey, for the next six months, I'm going to perfect and be a master at this one area."

I like the Tim Ferriss method; he sits back, and he goes, "What's the one thing I could go do that would make everything else obsolete?" I like to sit back and think to myself, "What would that be?" So I'll give you a personal example real quick here, and then I'll end the episode:

I realized that I could die behind my computer, and that might sound weird to you. I'm not trying to be like a Debbie Downer on this, but crap man, like I work my face off. I work a lot.  I don't work a freakin' nine-to-five. Nine-to-five is when I'm at the desk, I'm working all the time though - and I don't always want to be.

And so I started thinking, "Oh man,  let's just start with self-care." So six months ago, I was like, you know what I'm gonna start with self-care. There was a specific where I decided, I'm gonna go focus in on this, and I'm gonna get better at this.

In high school, I lost 45 pounds. I lifted for nine months. I didn't like how I looked so I lifted every day. I lost 45 pounds, and got all the way down to 6% body fat -  one more percentage of weight is considered unhealthy. I started doing Sprint Triathlons like crazy... Well, I got married, went to college, financial pressures, and all those things created more stress, and I started putting that weight back on.

One day at ClickFunnels, I saw a picture of myself and I was like, "Oh crap,  well, I'm not gonna be embarrassed about it, but I'll just own the scenario that I'm in. Let's kill that side.” And so I went through, and I started looking at all these different things, and I've lost maybe 10 to 15 pounds which is awesome.  I've enjoyed it.

But what I had to do is find out what that one domino was that Tim Ferriss talks about that knocks down everything else? And so what I realized was it's the time that I go to sleep.

If I go to sleep at a responsible time - I get up early. I like when I get up early because I can have an hour or two for just workin' out. I love to work out - Do I need two hours? No, but I do like to go a solid hour, hour and a half - it's just fun. I enjoy it. It's one of my favorite things.

I built a full gym in our garage - that things awesome! Holy crap, I got all the toys - really fun in there. And when I lift and when I work out in the morning, then I go, and then I can eat better. I'm more motivated to eat well when I've worked out in the mornings. I'm like I don't wanna lose the results I just worked for in the morning. So then I eat better which makes me drink more water, which makes me... right?

And it all starts the one activity that I can control that easily makes it likely that I will do that schedule the next day is what time I go to sleep.

I don't believe in nighttime hustle anymore. There are very few times when I'm willing to do it anymore, but it's because I work better, have more clarity of mind, I get more crap down when I follow that. Does that make sense?

Does that have anything to do with funnels? Yes, everything to do with funnels. Does it have anything to do with building pages? No, but it has everything to do with the way I build pages.

And that's part of what I do that has made some people  feel a little bit uncomfortable with what I do, it's like, "I thought you were a funnel coach?" It's like, "Yeah I am, but for you to be good at it, we gotta work on you as well." So these are the rules. I do the same things myself.

There are times where I'll walk around and be like, "Man, Stephen, dude, Larsen, you are Betty Whiting right now. Man, you are complaining, you're a freakin' idiot, okay? You are whining, you're a complainer, you baby," and I'll self-talk like crazy and I coach me through the same process that I'm coaching my people through.  It's cool how effective it's been. And I've been doing it a lot (especially the past several months) and really, really enjoyed it.

So anyways guys, hopefully, you like this episode. Definitely a longer one. I wanted to be able to drop this out to you guys though. These rules are very, very helpful. There's many more - those are off the top of my head.

When you enter a relationship with somebody else in a coaching scenario be very cognizant of NOT just what they're teaching you, but where they're coming from - it'll help guard you so that you're are getting the coaching you should have.

A lot of you guys reach out to me and ask me if I can coach you. I'm not doing open coaching for anyone right now. I do fulfillment-style coaching for Russell for the One Funnel Away Challenge. I'm a 2 Comma Club Coach over there as well. I consulting, I fly out a lot and do that as well. If you're interested in that kind of thing, go to, stevejlarsen.com, and you can see that's how to get in contact with me for consulting.

Anyways guys, thank you so much, I appreciate it. And we'll talk to you later.

Hope you guys enjoyed the episode. If you liked this, number one, I would go back and re-listen to it and write the rules down. People will ask if I can give them the PDF or the doc I've been holding up? No, I think you need to write them down - it'll help you memorize 'em and learn 'em.

So I'm not gonna give it and release it to anybody. Go write them down though on your own, and then please share the episode. It really means a lot to me.

Guys, thanks so much we'll talk to you later, bye.

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