It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

Is It Time to Retire the Stages of Grief? (Spoiler: Yes)

Nov 13, 2023

Explore the flaws of the traditional stages of grief and the importance of realistic portrayals in media. Find out how to navigate grief in staff meetings and the complexities of work relationships. Learn about supporting others through grief and the challenges professionals face in shifting their worldview.

25:41

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Quick takeaways

The stages of grief, popularized by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, are outdated and do not accurately represent the complexity of grief, and media portrayals that reinforce these stages can be detrimental to individuals navigating their grief.

When dealing with grief in the workplace, it is important to set boundaries, create a safe space for expression, and normalize a range of emotions, while also recognizing the challenges of supporting others while experiencing one's own grief.

Deep dives

The Myth of the Stages of Grief

The podcast challenges the widely known stages of grief, emphasizing that they are outdated and do not accurately represent the complexity of grief. The stages, popularized by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The host highlights that grief is not a linear process and that people's experiences of grief are unique and diverse. The podcast critiques media portrayals of grief that reinforce the stages and pressure individuals to conform to a specific grieving timeline. It encourages a more nuanced and individualized understanding of grief.

Introduction

2min

Critique of the Stages of Grief Model

12min

Navigating Grief in Staff Meetings

6min

The Complexity of Normal Human Relationships and Setting Boundaries in the Workplace

2min

Supporting Others Through Grief

8min

Everybody knows the stages of grief. Even if you didn’t go to grad school, I bet you can rattle them off. Thing is - those stages don’t help anyone: not the pros trying to support patients or clients, not the person trying to survive an impossible situation.

Tune in for the inside scoop on the stages of grief and what we should be doing instead, with a special shout-out to the tv shows getting grief right.

In this episode we cover:

Where the stages of grief came from, and why their creator was Less Than Pleased with what happened next
Whether an “innocent” mention of the stages of grief really matters in a movie or tv show (shout out to Netflix: HMU!)
What to do if your boss asks you to support your co-workers through a death in the company
And much more, because I have a lot to say on these stages, apparently

We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons of It’s OK that You’re Not OK.

Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.

Follow our show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief and @itsokpod on TikTok. Visit refugeingrief.com for resources & courses

About Megan:

Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief

Additional resources:

Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here.

Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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