No Stupid Questions 95. What’s So Bad About Denial?
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Oct 4, 2026 Can denial soften the first shock of losing someone, or does it keep us trapped? This conversation explores grief, the five-stage model, the mind-body connection, and how attention can turn pain up or down. It also examines suppression versus denial, ways people create meaning after loss, and why Angela covers her eyes during Rocky movies.
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Anna’s Denial Temporarily Stopped Her Grief Symptoms
- At nine, Anna mentally pretended her deceased uncle was alive and watched her headache and stomachache disappear.
- Stopping the imagined reassurance brought both symptoms back, showing how intensely grief affected her body.
Denial Works By Redirecting Attention
- Denial redirects attention away from painful reality, while attention illuminates only a tiny fraction of experience.
- The five-stage grief model lacks strong evidence and can wrongly make mourners feel they are grieving incorrectly.
Grief Can Trigger A Physical Stress Response
- Grief concerns past loss, while stress involves a threat perceived as current; both can activate the body’s adversity response.
- Anna’s nausea, headache, and changing symptoms demonstrate the mind-body connection.
