Sarah earns more than Andrew. They’re unmarried but imagine a future together, or would like to. The problem is that Andrew’s existing money scripts (and $65k in debt) have him frozen—unable to spend but also unwilling to seriously plan a way out.

She wants to spend money on things like vacations, but he doesn’t feel like he can afford to spend. To make things worse, he feels terrible about money in general because that’s how his dad raised him—his presence looms over the conversation.

We need to cut out the negative judgments and help Sarah see things from Andrew’s perspective. Then we can talk to Andrew about the mindset to overcome his past—and current—money issues.

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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95: The strange elevation of Cardinal McElroy