284 Should Women Get Free Tickets? with Misha Bonaventura from Bonobo Network
May 9, 2024
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Misha Bonaventura, a consultant and educator dedicated to fostering consent culture in sex-positive communities, shares her insights on a variety of intriguing topics. The conversation dives into the dynamics of equitable ticket pricing for events and the importance of financial accessibility. She also explores concepts like being 'slut secure' and navigating casual relationships with a focus on consent and self-awareness. Misha emphasizes the value of genuine connections over transactions within these communities, ultimately advocating for a more inclusive and supportive environment.
Misha emphasizes the importance of consent culture within sex-positive communities, advocating for accountability and open discussions to ensure everyone's experience is valued.
Participating in sex-positive spaces can lead to personal transformation by challenging societal judgments and fostering positive self-reflection regarding body image and attraction.
Deep dives
Defining Sex Positivity
Sex positivity encompasses a broad understanding of sexuality as valid and good, promoting a culture free of judgment as long as the expressions of sexuality are consensual. Misha explains that it's not merely about enjoying sex; rather, it is an activist stance against society's prevalent sex-negative attitudes. This perspective aims to dismantle the shame and stigma rooted in cultural and religious backgrounds, fostering a supportive environment where diverse sexual expressions can thrive. For individuals teaching about sex positivity, frameworks like Doug Braun Harvey's six principles of sexual health help facilitate discussions on risk-aware and consensual practices.
Transformation Through Community
Participating in sex-positive communities can lead to significant personal transformation as individuals navigate their own beliefs, judgments, and emotional responses to sexuality and attraction. Misha shares her experiences, emphasizing how being in spaces where attraction can be expressed openly has challenged her self-image and perceptions of jealousy. By observing diverse bodies and interactions, she learned to confront and reframe her insecurities, turning judgment into admiration. These transformative interactions encourage positive self-reflection and foster healthier attitudes towards body image and relationships.
Addressing Mixed Messaging in Spaces
In certain sex-positive environments, mixed messaging can create confusion surrounding inclusivity and community standards. Misha highlights how some events may invite broad participation while simultaneously enforcing exclusivity through discriminatory practices, such as application-based admissions that prioritize appearance. This creates a paradox where the sexual freedom promised by these communities can be overshadowed by societal beauty standards and transactional dynamics. Recognizing these issues is crucial for fostering a more inclusive and supportive atmosphere within sex-positive gatherings.
Community Accountability and Consent
Accountability in sex-positive communities is vital for maintaining trust and ensuring that all members adhere to established values regarding consent and mutual respect. Misha discusses the importance of low thresholds for reporting grievances, emphasizing that everyone's experience is valuable, and every report should be taken seriously to identify patterns of behavior. The community employs a multi-tiered response system to address issues while fostering a culture of self-reflection and growth. This approach prioritizes understanding the impact of actions rather than determining guilt, ultimately enriching the community's relational dynamics.
This week features Misha Bonaventura. We talk about sex positive communities, sexy parties, being objectified, consent culture, and also- what is being slut secure?! Misha co-produces Bonobo Network with William Winters. Alongside William, she is passionate about supporting sex positive community and helping people create more pleasure for themselves. She teaches and consults individuals and communities to develop their consent culture with a harm reduction and transformative justice lens. Her private practice, Clearing Conversations, focuses on conflict resolution and communication coaching and she loves supporting the sex positive community of the Bay Area and beyond in creating sustainable, long-term relationship building.
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Send questions, comments, stories, rants to: SlutsAndScholars@gmail.com Sluts And Scholars is a production of sluts and scholars media.
Loving disclaimer:
Sluts and Scholars is a podcast produced by Sluts & Scholars Media, LLC. It is a shame free educational podcast made for your entertainment and informational desires only. The podcast, any opinions we share, and any resources including social media and emails from us are not therapy, medical care or professional advice and do not create a patient-client relationship. None of the information, opinions, suggestions, resources or exercises mentioned in this podcast should be used without clearance from your health care provider. All opinions, information and ideas expressed by the guests are solely their own. If you need emergency mental health or medical help, please call 911 or 988 or go to your nearest emergency center. We hope you enjoy the show.
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