What is it like for a doctor, who has spent his life treating patients, to become a patient himself? That was the experience of Dr. Avi Rockoff when he learned that he had a very serious form of prostate cancer, and which he chronicles in his new book, When the Doctor Becomes the Patient.

He was exposed to what he terms “the medical industrial complex” from the other side of the physician's desk, and learned about some of the aspects of healthcare that he had taught for years, but from a very different perspective. 

I found this conversation both fascinating and important, and I have been thinking about it and discussing it with people ever since I recorded it. Avi and I talked about the common reluctance of patients to talk about their conditions with friends and family, the limits of the doctor’s expertise, why it’s possible that not knowing about an illness can sometimes be better that knowing about it and treating it, why offering compassion and hope are essential components of a healer’s job and why that healer should not just be seen as a type of repairman, some of the positives and negatives of the way that medicine has become streamlined, differences between his experience as a patient in Boston versus his treatment in Israel, what gave him encouragement during his illness, how we should speak with friends and family who are ill, and more.

Some of these topics are especially resonant to me because a very close friend of mine recently was diagnosed with cancer. Many of you may know him: Rabbi Jonathan Cohen, Harav Yehonatan Eitan hakohen ben Batsheva Bracha. Our family and the Cohens spend Purim together annually, alternating hosting the Purim seudah every year, and our friendship with Jonathan, Tzivia, and their kids is an absolute gift. Jonathan is a wonderful and caring friend to hundreds of people; I don’t think I ever met anyone who is so beloved by so many different individuals in so many different places. For that reason, I want to dedicate this episode with Dr. Avi Rockoff in honor of Jonathan and with a prayer for his refuah shleima, and I ask everyone listening to please include Yehonatan Eitan ben Batsheva Bracha in your tefilot for a speedy and complete recovery.

This episode of the Orthodox Conundrum is sponsored by The Eden Project by Rotem Shani, located right across from the Sheinfeld neighborhood in Beit Shemesh. For more information please contact Rina Weinberg by emailing info@edenbeitshemesh.com.

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