Financial Next Steps After Losing a Spouse with Valerie Hogan

Nov 3, 2025

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Losing a spouse can shake every part of life—but God promises to walk with you through each next step.

When loss turns life upside down, even simple financial decisions can feel overwhelming. But with God’s help—and a few practical steps forward—there is hope and healing ahead. Today, Valerie Hogan joins us to share guidance for navigating the financial journey after losing a spouse.

Valerie Hogan is an attorney, a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), a member of Kingdom Advisors, and the co-author of Wise Women Managing Money: Expert Advice on Debt, Wealth, Budgeting, and More with Miriam Neff.

Grief and Finances Are Deeply Connected

When grief hits, clarity often disappears. You may feel pressure to “get everything settled” or, on the other hand, find it impossible to make even small decisions. Both reactions are normal.

Grief colors everything. It’s difficult to separate financial choices from emotional pain. And that’s okay. The key is to give yourself permission not to have all the answers right away.

Statistics show that about 80% of women will outlive their husbands. That means most of us will one day find ourselves managing finances alone. And many women, especially from earlier generations, weren’t as involved in financial decisions during marriage.

After loss, that reality can be intimidating. Suddenly, you’re faced with choices about investments, taxes, home maintenance, and budgets—often with less income and more years of life ahead. Those early months matter, but they shouldn’t be rushed.

Start with This Truth: God Owns It All

Before any practical steps, I want to anchor you in a truth that has carried me and countless others through difficult seasons: God owns it all.

Everything we have belongs to Him, and He is with us as we steward it. Remembering that doesn’t erase the pain, but it reminds us we’re not alone. It shifts the weight of control off our shoulders and invites God’s wisdom into our decisions.

That truth gives us permission to move slowly and prayerfully. Stewardship is not about perfection—it’s about trust.

Steps for Navigating the Early Days

Here are some guiding steps I often share with widows who ask, “Where do I even begin?”

1. Take One Step at a Time

You don’t need to fix everything today. Unless a change is absolutely urgent, give yourself space to rest and recover. Grief has a way of making even simple tasks feel monumental. Be patient with yourself.

2. Avoid Major Financial Moves Too Soon

Try not to make significant financial decisions while emotions are raw. Some women have sold homes, moved away, or invested large sums during intense grief—only to regret it later. Wait until your heart is steadier before making big changes.

3. Get Organized, Little by Little

Loss often leaves behind a mountain of paperwork. Start small—maybe one pile, one folder, one hour. Ask a trusted friend or advisor to help if it feels overwhelming. Progress comes one decision at a time.

4. Track What’s Coming In and Going Out

Awareness brings peace. You don’t have to overhaul your budget immediately—just begin noticing where money is going. Clarity grows with consistency.

5. Lean on Trusted Advisors

Choose people who will look out for your best interest—those with integrity and experience, not pressure or sales motives. A trusted financial planner, attorney, or advisor can help you think clearly when emotions run high.

6. Anchor Everything in Prayer

This is the most important step. God cares deeply when His people are hurting. Invite Him into every conversation, every decision, every bill you open. He is your provider and your comforter.

Build a “Personal Board of Directors”

Form a personal board of directors—a small circle of wise people you can lean on for different kinds of counsel.

You might include:

A spiritually mature friend who prays with you
A financial professional with integrity
An encourager who helps you stay hopeful
A practical helper who can sit with you through paperwork

Each one brings something valuable. Just remember: not every encourager is a financial guide, and not every advisor is a prayer partner. Surround yourself with a balanced mix of wisdom and compassion.

Know It. Own It. Like It. Change It.

In their book Wise Women Managing Money, Miriam Neff and Valerie Neff Hogan use a simple four-part framework that applies beautifully here:

Know it—Gather the facts. What do you own? What do you owe?
Own it—Accept responsibility for your new role as steward.
Like it—Evaluate your current situation honestly.
Change it—Begin making small, steady adjustments that align with your goals and faith.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. Start by knowing where you are—and trust that God will guide each next step.

If you’ve recently lost your spouse, please hear this: there are brighter days ahead. It may not feel that way now, but God will give you strength and wisdom in time. I’ve seen hundreds of widows rebuild, heal, and even thrive again.

Take one step at a time. Pray often. Surround yourself with wise, loving people. And remember—you’re not alone.

On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:

A friend once told me they only tip 10% at restaurants, so they don’t end up giving a server more than they give to God. Now that’s stuck with me—every time I eat out, I think about it. Am I looking at this the wrong way? What’s the right, biblical way to think about tipping and giving?
I recently set up a trust, and I own two homes—one’s paid off and the other still has a mortgage. Both properties are titled in my name. Do I need to transfer or re-deed those homes into the trust, or can I leave them as they are since they’re already in my name?

Resources Mentioned:

Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every workday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources.

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