The Ezra Klein Show Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives
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Nov 25, 2025 
Sheila Liming, an associate professor and author of "Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time," delves into the lost art of casual socializing. She explores how modern life leads to isolation and the importance of spontaneity in friendships. Liming discusses how our environments, like suburbs, shape our social connections and critiques the nuclear family model. She emphasizes the need for social resilience and communal living, and how digital platforms impact genuine interactions. Their conversation reveals profound insights on nurturing meaningful relationships.
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Isolation Is Structural, Not Just Personal
- Modern built environments and social choices produce sustained isolation by design.
- Sheila Liming argues loneliness is an outcome of structural decisions, not just individual failure.
Hanging Out As Social Musculature
- Hanging out means daring to do not much together and resisting outcome-focused social time.
- Liming calls it social musculature that atrophies without repeated low-pressure practice.
A Year Of Failed Hang Plans
- Liming describes trying to schedule a hang with a friend 30 miles away that repeatedly fails for over a year.
- The story illustrates how modest distances and friction block spontaneous hanging out.
