This Is Actually Happening 377: What if you were a gay, Mormon, drug-dealing, federal informant?
Sep 30, 2025
Sean Hemeon, a memoirist and former drug dealer, shares his gripping journey from addiction to recovery. He recounts the darker sides of his life as a federal informant, the harrowing experience of losing a buyer to overdose, and how that shaped his path to finding redemption. His story reveals the complexities of growing up queer in a strict Mormon environment, grappling with trauma, and eventually embracing sobriety. Through introspection and writing, he finds healing and reconnects with his true self and family.
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Abandoned At Four, Driven To Prove Worth
- Sean Hemeon recounts being left behind at age four and feeling invisible, which shaped a lifelong need to earn love.
- That abandonment birthed a rebel drive to prove his worth through performance and achievement.
Religion Turned Identity Into Shame
- Sean internalized Mormon teachings and believed being gay was a curse, fueling shame and suicidal ideation.
- That religious framing turned identity into moral failure, deepening isolation and self-hatred.
First Grooming Experience At Thirteen
- At 13 Sean was groomed by an older man who validated him then sexually abused him, leaving him feeling deserving of harm.
- That first exploitative experience cemented the belief he deserved to be molested and intensified his shame.
