The Loneliness Epidemic (How to find your people) #98

Loneliness epidemic. Did you know we're currently experiencing this? A recent Harvard study found that 1 in 4 Americans feel they have no one to confide in. So, if you feel lonely or like you're lacking something, you are (ironically...) not alone.Today's episode can help.

Radha Agrawal shares simple tools from her new book, BELONG: Find your people, create your community & live a more connected life. My friend, the Live Inspired community is absolutely a place where you belong. My hope is that today's episode helps you strengthen the community where you live, too.

NOTES:

• Check out these recent articles about the loneliness epidemic: New York Times, Washington Post.
• Get a copy of Radha's new BELONG book.
• Meaningful relationships are the key to a healthy, happy life. Isolation is as detrimental to your health as being an alcoholic; twice as detrimental as obesity, according to the same study noted above.
• Learn more about Radha Agrawal on her site radhaagrawal.com.
• The cornerstone of belonging is participating. Don't just be a bystander.
• Begin architecting your community:
  1. Ask yourself: Who am I and what do I care about? 
  2. Write down the qualities you're looking for in a friend.
  3. Write down the qualities you do not want your friend to have.
  4. Realize you need to have the qualities you're seeking (i.e. less judgmental, listen well).
  5. Be gently self-aware of how you're showing up.
  6. Begin with "exploratory" phase (try new things, show up at new events, observe).
  7. Move into "participatory" phase: Which events would you like to go back to and push yourself to participate,  volunteer, strike up real conversation?

     • Stop asking questions like "what do you do." Ask bigger questions: What are you most excited about? What's a moment when you were most afraid?

• Be patient in the process. It takes 80 hours to call someone a friend. Prioritize this.
• ALL of our issues ladder down to one thing: NOT belonging.
• It's exhausting to hang out with people who don't get you. Take the time to find community members who fill up your tank.
• Sometimes, the more successful you are the more at arms length you are from people. It can be lonely on top.
• We're often part of a community because we're born into it. Cultivate a sense of belonging; feeling of "I'm home. I'm happy."

Want to get started making new friends? Listen to Ep. #87, Mel Robbins' 5-second rule will hold you accountable to getting out of your comfort zone + making new friends.

If you like this podcast, you will love Live Inspired IN STUDIO. It's my membership community where like-minded friends join me via live webcast to live inspired together. Registration opens soon! Join the waitlist.

RADHA AGRAWAL'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 

1. What is the best book you’ve ever read? Sapiens, by Yuval Harari. And a children’s book by Dallas Clayton, An Awesome Book.

2. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? I wish I was less combative and a better listener instead of beating my own drum.

3. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A video that my partner made of our engagement.

4. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be? Sacagawea! She helped Lewis and Clark get across harrowing parts of the country while pregnant. I'd ask her what it takes to be such an incredible explorer.

5. What is the best advice you've ever received? Choose your friends wisely. You're as good as the 5 closest and the sum of all the friends you keep. Pick your friends and nurture them.

6. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? Stop trying to be so cool and relevant. This is your time to discover who you are.

7. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read? She helped bring people together, find more connection, feel a sense of belonging and fully express and shine their unicorn light.

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If you enjoyed today’s episode: Subscribe, rate & review wherever you get your podcasts. See you here next Thursday!

Live Inspired with John every day on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram and get his Monday Motivation email: www.JohnOLearyInspires.com/Monday-Morning

If you like this podcast, you will love Live Inspired IN STUDIO. It's my membership community where like-minded friends join me via live webcast to live inspired together. Registration opens soon! Join the waitlist.