Downstream: Why Are So Many People Lonely? w/ Shon Faye
Feb 3, 2025
auto_awesome
Shon Faye, author of 'The Transgender Issue' and 'Love in Exile,' joins Ash Sarkar to tackle the complexities of love in today's world. They explore how societal norms have transformed marriage and relationships from past generations to now. Key topics include the crisis of loneliness among young men and the role of secularism in relationship breakdowns. Faye shares insights on the unique challenges faced by trans individuals and the nuances of love, identity, and compassion in a divided society.
The podcast explores the evolving nature of love and marriage, revealing societal norms that shape individual experiences and expectations.
It discusses the profound loneliness experienced by many, particularly young men, as they navigate modern relationships and societal pressures.
Friendship is emphasized as a crucial form of love, providing emotional support and fostering community connections amid political challenges.
Deep dives
The Political Nature of Love
Love is intrinsically linked to politics, as seen in the historical implications of relationships. For instance, anecdotes from the past highlight how societal norms affected choices around marriage, love, and personal autonomy. The podcast delves into whether secularism has liberated love or rendered it purposeless without institutional frameworks such as religion. The host and guest explore how economic and social pressures shape expectations of love, reflecting a shift from romantic ideals to the practical demands of modern relationships.
Exile from Love
The concept of feeling exiled from love is examined through personal narratives, particularly in the context of a trans woman's experiences. Breakups are framed not merely as individual separations but as moments that shatter idealized life plans and societal fantasies. The conversation expands to discuss how loneliness and unfulfilled desires impact both men and women in the current landscape, with many feeling disconnected from traditional roles of partnership and family. It suggests a shared, albeit complex, yearning for connection that transcends gender and sexual orientation.
Love as an Institution
The podcast discusses love as a historically constituted institution that bears significant societal weight. It emphasizes that contemporary understandings of love are largely influenced by structures like marriage and family, which dictate normative practices. Historical perspectives on romantic love reveal it to be a relatively recent construct that evolved alongside economic changes and cultural shifts, thereby intertwining with notions of power, social roles, and personal identity. An exploration of these dynamics reveals that individuals often feel trapped by societal expectations, leading to a sense of exile even among those in conventional relationships.
Friendship and Collective Love
The podcast argues that love extends beyond romantic and familial bonds, emphasizing the importance of friendships as a pivotal form of love. These friendships often shape political beliefs and foster community dynamics, illustrating how emotional support can arise from connections made in communal or political spaces. The conversation highlights the necessity of cultivating enduring relationships that engender mutual support, especially amidst political challenges. Friendships offer a space for individuals to navigate identity and support one another, which ultimately enriches their lives and activism.
The Role of Spirituality in Love
The intersection of spirituality and love opens a dialogue about the deeper meanings that love encompasses beyond mere romantic connections. The podcast touches on the idea that love has a spiritual dimension, which offers a framework for understanding forgiveness, self-sacrifice, and collective care. It encourages a shift in perspective towards seeing interactions and care for others as integral to one's spiritual and emotional growth. In this discussion, the recognition of interconnectedness provides a broader understanding of love as an ongoing practice rather than a fleeting experience.
Love is supposed to be the most universal human experience after death and taxes. So why do so many people feel like they’re failing in it? Ash Sarkar is joined by Shon Faye, author of the bestselling book The Transgender Issue, to discuss her new book Love In Exile. They talk about how marriage has changed since their grandmothers’ day, the crisis of lonely young men, and whether secularism is to blame for relationship breakdown.
Get the Snipd podcast app
Unlock the knowledge in podcasts with the podcast player of the future.
AI-powered podcast player
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
Discover highlights
Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode
Save any moment
Hear something you like? Tap your headphones to save it with AI-generated key takeaways
Share & Export
Send highlights to Twitter, WhatsApp or export them to Notion, Readwise & more
AI-powered podcast player
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
Discover highlights
Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode