On Purpose with Jay Shetty
John & Julie Gottman ON: Dating, Finding The Perfect Partner & Maintaining A Healthy Relationship
Sep 28, 2020
John Gottman, co-founder of the Gottman Institute, and his wife, Julie Gottman, a clinical psychologist, share their expertise on love and relationships. They discuss the complexities of attraction, emphasizing that compatibility goes beyond shared interests. The Gottmans introduce the idea of a positive interaction ratio for relationship health and explore the impact of negativity on couples. They offer insights into communication, trust, and the importance of emotional intelligence in navigating loyalty and betrayal. Their science-backed advice aims to foster deeper connections.
01:11:11
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Quick takeaways
- Couples do not need to be completely compatible in every way when dating, but should focus on genuine interest, reliability, and kindness in a potential partner.
- Couples often face perpetual problems in their relationships, stemming from differences in lifestyle preferences and personality traits, but can maintain a strong relationship by developing understanding, compassion, and finding temporary compromises.
Deep dives
Common Mistakes in Dating
When it comes to dating, it is a common mistake to believe that couples need to be completely compatible in every way. However, research suggests that having some similar values and interests is enough. Another misconception is that couples need to be equal in terms of attractiveness, but attraction is more complex and can be influenced by factors like pheromones. Additionally, online dating algorithms have proven to be ineffective in creating successful matches. Therefore, it is important to focus on genuine interest, reliability, and kindness in a potential partner.
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