John Gottman, co-founder of the Gottman Institute, and his wife, Julie Gottman, a clinical psychologist, share their expertise on love and relationships. They discuss the complexities of attraction, emphasizing that compatibility goes beyond shared interests. The Gottmans introduce the idea of a positive interaction ratio for relationship health and explore the impact of negativity on couples. They offer insights into communication, trust, and the importance of emotional intelligence in navigating loyalty and betrayal. Their science-backed advice aims to foster deeper connections.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Sleepless in Seattle
John Gottman loves Tom Hanks' monologue in Sleepless in Seattle.
It resonates with his own experience of feeling like "coming home" when he met Julie.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Meeting Julie
John Gottman dated 60 women one summer before meeting Julie.
Julie, his 61st date, stood out due to their easy conversation, shared laughter, and intense connection.
insights INSIGHT
Ineffective Algorithms
Online dating algorithms are ineffective, requiring numerous encounters for matches.
Compatibility in interests isn't key, but how couples relate during shared activities matters.
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In 'Think Like a Monk', Jay Shetty shares his experiences as a monk and provides practical advice on how to overcome negative thoughts, stop overthinking, and find purpose. The book is divided into three stages: Let Go, Grow, and Serve. It emphasizes the importance of letting go of distractions and fears, growing through self-reflection and mindfulness, and serving others to find true fulfillment. Shetty draws on ancient wisdom and his own experiences to offer exercises and advice on reducing stress, improving relationships, and cultivating kindness and compassion.
Eight Rules of Love
How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go
Jay Shetty
In 'Eight Rules of Love', Jay Shetty offers a comprehensive guide to navigating every stage of romance, from first dates to breakups. The book emphasizes the importance of self-love, mutual growth, and intentional effort in relationships. It provides practical advice and exercises inspired by ancient Vedic principles and modern psychology.
What Makes Love Last
How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal
John Gottman
Nan Silver
In this book, John Gottman explores the mysteries of love, explaining where it comes from, why some love lasts, and why some fades. Based on his extensive research in the 'Love Lab', Gottman provides strategies for identifying signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate betrayal and offers practical advice on how to repair and maintain relationships. The book emphasizes the importance of trust, communication, and physical intimacy in relationships and provides tools and methods for couples to evaluate and improve their relationships[2][3][4].
Dataclysm
Who We Are (When We Think No One's Looking)
Christian Rudder
In 'Dataclysm,' Christian Rudder delves into the world of big data to examine how people behave when they think no one is watching. Using data from OkCupid and other social media platforms, Rudder explores various aspects of human behavior, including interactions based on race, gender, and other demographic factors. The book moves away from narrative storytelling and instead uses statistical analysis and data visualization to understand human behavior on a large scale.
Not "Just Friends"
Shirley Glass
This book explores the complexities of infidelity and its impact on relationships. It provides insights into the emotional and psychological dynamics of affairs, helping individuals and couples understand the underlying causes and consequences. The book offers guidance on navigating the aftermath of an affair, fostering healing, and rebuilding trust. It emphasizes the importance of communication, empathy, and forgiveness in repairing damaged relationships. It also provides practical strategies for preventing future infidelity.
You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.
In this episode, Jay Shetty is joined by John & Julie Gottman to explore age-old questions about love, relationships, dating, and marriage.
Are you just beginning a new relationship or longing for a deeper connection with your romantic partner? John and Julie Gottman, co-designers of the national clinical training program in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, share their knowledge and the science behind building and maintaining healthy, meaningful relationships. Go to https://www.gottman.com for more.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty 
