153. How to Be With Your Contradictions: Brandi Stanley, author of ‘This Plus That’ [reads] ‘Matter and Desire’
May 30, 2023
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Brandi Stanley, author of 'This Plus That', shares insights on embracing contradictions, resolving conflicts for intimacy, and reconciling paradoxes. The discussion covers sources of strength, attachment wounding, and merging aspects of identity for personal growth.
Paradoxes breed intimacy through conflict, requiring comfort with death.
Brandy Stanley blends queerness and mysticism, unable to separate them.
Essence spotting and simplifying complexity aid self-discovery and branding efforts.
Deep dives
The Essence of Paradox and Mysticism
Paradox, where logic bends and unexpected combinations create magic, is discussed as a shy mystery of the universe peeking out. Brandy Stanley, the author of 'This Plus That,' describes her intersectional thrive in the written and spoken word realm. As a mystical individual existing in the physical realm, she reflects on monetizing a mystical gift through branding and marketing expertise.
Articulating the Essence of Self and Others
Brandy delves into her talent for articulating the essence of people and things, helping individuals communicate their core identity to a wider audience. She emphasizes the significance of spotting essence, simplifying complexity, and aiding others in finding their true selves.
Embracing Contradictions and Uncertainties
Brandy reflects on personal grief, change, and loss, highlighting a practice of being amidst seeming contradictions and paradoxes. She explores the challenge of aligning spiritual ideals with financial survival in a complex world. Brandy's work centers on grappling with the mystical, existential, and profound questions of life.
Integrating Self-Identity and Paradox
Brandy navigates blending her creative and scientific interests, overcoming generational divides between art and science. Embracing her queerness amidst religious upbringing, she intertwines mysticism with her identity, finding interconnectedness in apparent disparities. She acknowledges the ongoing journey of reconciling contradictions within herself.
Self-Care through Nourishment and Integration
The concept of nourishment guides Brandy's self-care, emphasizing feeding oneself with enriching experiences that foster aliveness. She illuminates the importance of integrating fragmented aspects of the self to foster wholeness. Brandy encourages cultivating spaces that nurture growth, authenticity, and a deeper connection to oneself.
Once, long ago, I chatted with Brené Brown about the possibility of writing a book together about paradox. With everything she could bring, and not entirely sure what I’d bring other than the idea for the book, I thought we could co-create something fantastic and fascinating between us. My guess is that she considered it for about two seconds, and instead decided to write Daring Greatly, one of her great books. It’s clear that Brené made the right call here, but that didn’t stop me from loving paradox - it’s the place where logic bends, where unexpected combinations create magic, where the impossible works. Paradox is where the shy mysteries of the universe peek out and wave ‘hello.’
Brandi Stanley is a writer and podcast host, both under the nameThis Plus That. You’ll find her happily thriving in many intersections, including the one where this podcast lives; the intersection between the written word and speaking it out loud. Get book links and resources at https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/
Brandi reads two pages from ‘Matter and Desire’ by Andreas Weber. [reading begins at 16:05]
Hear us discuss:
Sources of strength and stability. [8:59] | “Conflict breeds intimacy, but intimacy requires real comfort with death.” [22:37] | Attachment wounding explained. [25:42] | How to reconcile with your paradoxes: “My queerness now feels so intertwined with my mysticism that I can’t find a place to separate them at all.” [27:10] | The gift of being a fugitive. [33:18] | How are you nourishing yourself? [35:09] | “All of my faults are not singular.” [37:48]
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