Daniel Pink on the Power of Regret and How Regrets Make Us Better

I have always been a big proponent of books finding you when they’re meant to, and I recently read Daniel Pink’s latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, which came out in 2022. I’ll be honest—I don’t think I had ever consciously thought about regret until reading his book. Then, I realized, by learning from the regrets of my past, I could at least try to do my best to prevent the regrets of my future. As I mentioned last week, I am taking a big leap professionally—today, actually, is my last day at Marie Claire, and in August I’ll begin my new role at People magazine. I felt safe and comfortable at Marie Claire, but when this People opportunity came up, I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t try, even if the role intimidated me. So I took the leap, and I am proud of myself for doing that. Dan writes that none of us escape regret—well, save for a select few, which he explains in the episode today—and writes that regrets not only make us human, but they make us better. He writes that regret is “an essential component of the human experience” and “a marker of a healthy, maturing mind”; he also writes that regret is the most misunderstood emotion. Dan went deep on researching regret, even conducting the World Regret Survey to learn more about it. Wait until you hear in this episode some of the data he found from interviewing 15,000 people from 105 countries around the globe. He was able to break down regret into four core categories, which he expounds on in today’s episode: foundation, boldness, moral, and connection regrets. Today we talk about what the most common regrets are universally, if there is a time period in one’s life from which the most regrets stem from, the difference between “if only” and “at least” statements, and why regret, in his words, gives him hope. There’s a reason I bookended the last episode with Kathleen Griffith with this episode. The last episode talked about building the career and life of your dreams; this episode talks about what happens—regret—if we don’t go for it and say yes to the big life, the big goals, the big dreams. I am in a season of saying yes to the big life, the big goals, the big dreams, and I hope you’ll join me there. Let me tell you about the work of Daniel Pink, who is absolutely brilliant—you probably already know who he is, as his work has been so important for so long. He is a No. 1 New York Times bestselling author of seven books that have sold millions of copies around the world and won multiple awards. His books are known for helping both readers and organizations rethink how they live and operate, and some of my favorite books by Dan include Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us and When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing. He is a graduate of Northwestern and Yale Law School, and from 1995 to 1997, he was the chief speechwriter for Vice President Al Gore. This was not planned, but today, July 23, when this episode drops, happens to be Dan’s birthday. So happy birthday Dan and thank you for this conversation. Take a listen.

The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward by Daniel Pink