In this episode, my guest is Dr. James Hollis, Ph.D., a Jungian psychoanalyst, renowned educator and author on finding and pursuing one’s unique purpose. Dr. Hollis is also an expert in the psychology of relationships and healing from trauma. We discuss how early family dynamics and social context create patterns of both adaptive and maladaptive behavior and internal narratives that, when examined, lead to better choices and a deeply fulfilling existence.

We discuss discovering your unique self-identity and purpose through specific practices of reflection, meditation and conversations with others. We also discuss self-perception and the evolution of roles within marriages, parent-child relationships, and work.

Throughout the episode, Dr. Hollis provides both basic knowledge and practical tools to help us assess ourselves and better understand who we are and what we really want in careers, relationships of all kinds, and society.

For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.

Use Ask Huberman Lab, our new AI-powered platform, for a summary, clips, and insights from this episode.

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Timestamps

00:00:00 Dr. James Hollis

00:02:14 Sponsors: Mateina, Joovv & BetterHelp

00:05:57 Self, Ego, Sense of Self

00:13:59 Unconscious Patterns, Blind Spots, Dreams; Psyche & Meaning

00:21:56 Second Half of Life, Purpose, Depression

00:25:37 Sponsor: AG1

00:27:08 Tool: Daily Reflection; Crisis

00:31:47 Families & Children, Permission & Burdens

00:37:27 Complex Identification, Self-Perception; Social Media & Borderline

00:41:55 Daily Stimulus Response, Listening to the Soul

00:45:40 Exiting Stimulus-Response, Loneliness, Burnout

00:51:19 Meditation & Perception, Reflection

00:54:58 Sponsor: Waking Up

00:56:15 Recognizing the “Shadow” & Adulthood

01:02:48 Socialization; Family & Life Journey

01:09:04 Relationships & “Otherness”, Standing Your Ground

01:15:51 Marriage, “Starter Marriages” & Evolution; Parenting

01:19:37 Shadow Issues, Success & External Reward, Personal Growth

01:27:59 Men, Alcohol, “Stoic Man”, Loneliness, Fear & Longing

01:37:33 Women & Men, Focused vs. Diffuse Awareness; Male Rite of Passage

01:44:31 Sacrifice, Relationships; Facing Fears

01:48:20 Therapy, “Abyss of the Self”, Repeating Patterns & Stories

01:55:17 Women, Career & Family, Partner Support; Redefining Roles

02:01:40 Pathology & Diagnosis, Internet

02:07:05 Life, Suffering & Accountability, “Swamplands” & Task

02:11:32 Abuse & Recovery of Self, Patience, Powerlessness

02:14:11 Living a Larger Life; “Shut Up, Suit Up, Show Up”

02:17:49 Life Stages; Despair & Integrity Conflict

02:25:00 Death, Ego, Mortality & Meaning

02:38:07 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

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Interview with Art Buchwald