278: My Mother Lied About Our Father's Death | Feedback Friday
Nov 15, 2019
A listener grapples with shocking news that their father is alive, after believing he had died along with their grandmother, leading to feelings of betrayal against their mother. The hosts discuss how to confront deep familial deceptions and the emotional complexities of rebuilding lost connections. They also explore the balance between career aspirations and personal fulfillment, including navigating toxic work environments and negotiating salary increases. Important themes of communication, resilience, and family dynamics are highlighted throughout the conversation.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Handling Entitled Parents
Pay for the child's expenses yourself in these situations.
Talk to the parent privately and express your expectations for future events.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Managing Family Drama during Grief
Set boundaries with your grandma and prioritize your own well-being.
Consider professional help for her grief, but protect yourself from her negativity.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Confronting Parental Betrayal
Talk to your mother and try to understand her reasons for keeping your father from you.
Seek professional help to process this trauma and consider re-establishing a relationship with your father's side of the family.
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When you were kids, you and your brother moved to the other side of the country with your mother and stepfather not long after your parents divorced. You never saw your father again, and believed your mother when she said that he and his mother -- your grandmother -- had died. Fast forward to now. You and your brother are adults, and he's got a bombshell to drop: your grandmother is still alive, and your father only recently passed away. Feeling betrayed, you've pieced together your mother and stepfather's systematic strategy to estrange you from your dad's side of the family (who, by the way, tried to find you over that time without success) -- and you're angry. You feel robbed of the time you could have spent with them, and you're wondering how you should raise the issue with your mother -- or if you should. This is obviously a sensitive situation, but we'll do our best to help you with this and more on the latest Feedback Friday.
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!
When you have to cover for your kid's friend's expenses on a movie and pizza night because his mom neglected to provide him with any cash, is it wrong for you to expect his mother to recompensate you for those expenses even though she works two jobs and says you look like you can afford it?
Your 80-year-old grandmother insists on bringing your bedridden and nonverbal father home instead of putting him in a place where he can get the constant care he needs. Putting your grandmother's strong will aside, what's the most responsible call to make here?
As kids, you and your brother moved across the country with your mom when your parents divorced. Until recently, you never saw your dad's side of the family again because, your brother recently discovered, your mom lied about your father and your grandmother's deaths. How do you confront your mother -- or should you?
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