46. Ken Blackman - The Power of Meaningful Relationships

“We’re all human beings and we all crave connection with other human beings.”

In this episode, I get to speak with the incredible Ken Blackman - a sex and relationship expert who focuses on sex, intimacy, and connection.

I believe your life is a product of your relationships - whether that’s with your friends, parents, your partner, your kids, or your work colleagues. In my own life I’ve found that the better your relationships, the better your life becomes so I couldn’t wait to get an expert perspective on something we all struggle with to some degree.

We’re social beings - we CRAVE connection - but it’s also an area of lives where we can find it difficult to have what we really want.

And in this episode, you’ll get some insights that will help you understand why that is.

“Courage is NOT fearlessness.”

Although Ken has been coaching for over 20 years, he wasn't always a relationship expert. Previously, he worked at Apple, but he found his true passion after struggling with intimate relationships himself.

Ken used to believe he had it all going against him - that he was a ‘hopeless case’. He didn’t see himself as attractive or charming. Instead, he saw himself as short, shy, and introverted - until he changed ONE thing.

And that’s just one of the topics we cover in this deep conversation.

So if you’re socially awkward, or you struggle with intimacy, or you just find connection hard, you’re going to want to tune into this episode. I promise you’ll take away some insight and some practical ideas that are going to transform the way you interact with the people in your life.

So enjoy!

“I learned that the only thing that mattered in my relationships is how I felt about myself.”

Some questions I ask:

• Let’s go back to that first year. How did you become a relationship expert, what drew you to that, and how was it starting something new when you came from a corporate background. [1:10]
• You mentioned that what happens in the bedroom is a microcosm for what’s happening in the entire relationship. What role does self-awareness play in this? [4:55]
• What are some of the things you did that made you feel good about yourself? [7:21]
• Do you think self awareness and self belief are the same thing? [8:36]
• Why do you think facing your fears allowed you to feel better about yourself and shaped the man you are today? [10:22]
• How do you turn things around if you’re afraid of social situations? [14:45]
• Is vulnerability an absolute must for connection? [17:00]
• How does emotional intelligence help you build a fulfilling life? [22:16]
• How can you develop intuition and then use it to make sound decisions? [32:56]
• Does the fear voice get quieter or does it get smarter? [37:10]
• How do the best relationships stay grounded? [48:25]

In this episode, you will hear about:

• How Ken’s relationship challenges and the transformation he personally experienced, kick-started his coaching journey.[2:51]
• Why changing the way you feel about yourself can change your experience in relationships. [7:00]
• The important difference between having an emotion and feeling an emotion. [8:50]
• Why you should say the elephant in the room if you’re feeling socially awkward. [15:36]
• What emotional intelligence actually is. [20:05]
• The real reason we’re drawn to another human being (it’s not what you think!) [23:37]
• ‘Spidey sense’ - what guys (in general) are really looking for in a relationship. [27:25]
• All about Gourmet Love Life. [44:47]
• Why we judge our emotions. [46:25]

How to contact

• If you want to be one of the first to work through Ken’s new couples coaching programme, visit www.gourmetlovelife.com.
• Ken coaches 1-1 as well aso if you have any questions, email ken@kenblackman.com.

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