The Birthday Pressure We Don’t Talk About with Alexandra Hayes

On her 35th birthday, Danielle sits down with content creator Alexandra Hayes for an intimate conversation about milestones, identity, ambition, friendship, and what it really means to become yourself. Together, they unpack the emotional baggage and pressure we carry around birthdays, and the quiet ways our priorities shift as we grow. In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why birthdays bring up both celebration and pressure
• Alexandra’s complicated relationship with birthdays and her mantra: “A day is just a day”
• How family dynamics and early disappointments shape how we experience milestones
• Danielle’s childhood birthdays, family traditions, and when birthdays started getting harder
• The pattern of unmet expectations ruining birthdays
• How the “one word” birthday planning framework could change your celebration 
• Learning to be a better friend by becoming the kind of friend you want to have
• The idea that your gift and your curse are usually the same thing
• The athlete metaphor for life: prepare, perform, recover—and realizing recovery was missing
• How to be more protective of time, energy, and who gets access to your life
• Letting go of forcing things and trusting that what’s meant for you won’t miss you
• The power of other people’s belief in you 
• Looking ahead: sovereignty, self-trust, alignment, ambition without self-abandonment, and what Danielle & Alexandra are stepping into next

Keep up with Alexandra here, listen to her podcast Hello Hayes, and read her Substack here. 

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