The Dr. Leaf Show Staying Together for the Kids Isn’t the Safety Net You Think
Nov 5, 2025
Staying together for the kids may not provide the safety net you think. Silent divorce leads to emotional disconnection, affecting children's brain development. Kids pick up on subtle tensions, reshaping their identities and expectations of relationships. Chronic stress alters their attention and self-regulation. Discover practical steps to create emotional safety at home, including a simple two-minute evening debrief. Learn how to shift signals without ending a relationship, ensuring your children inherit healthier emotional patterns.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Children Read Atmosphere Over Words
- Children register emotional atmosphere, not just words or loud conflict.
- Prolonged emotional misalignment rewires expectations of safety in the developing brain.
Rehearsal Turns Tension Into Baseline
- The mind rehearses emotional patterns and the brain automates them into baseline responses.
- Silent tension trains children to expect absence and to organize identity around misalignment.
Neuroception Shapes Emotional Wiring
- Neuroception flags safety/danger before conscious thought, shaping biochemistry and attention.
- Repeated misattunement shifts dopamine and cortisol, altering emotion regulation and social scanning.
