Is there something you want to bring up with your partner but are holding it back?

This question has the power to crack things open. Not to break, but to deepen. In this episode, Steve and I explore why it can feel so hard to bring up the things that actually matter—the stuff that’s sitting in your heart, the niggle that keeps coming back, the truth you’ve softened or silenced to avoid tension.

We talk about the very human reasons we hold back—fear of conflict, rejection, hurting someone we love, or rocking the boat when things feel “fine.” But the truth is that avoiding these conversations doesn’t keep the peace. It keeps the distance.

If we want real closeness, if we want a relationship where we feel each other—not just coexist—it requires a shared agreement to go there. To bring it up. To listen. To not punish each other for being honest. That’s the kind of love we’re here for.

We share what this has looked like for us—moments we’ve avoided things, moments we got it wrong, and how we’ve slowly built a relationship where these conversations are safe, even when they’re uncomfortable.

This one is an invitation:
To check in with yourself.
To ask the question.
And to consider—what’s the cost of not saying what’s true?

Big love,
Kat & Steve x

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079 - Anarchist Cybernetics, Part 1