Dating Intentionally 180. Dating A Friend Without "Ruining It" & Friendship Advice w/ Anna Goldfarb
Jun 17, 2025
In this episode, friendship expert Anna Goldfarb dives into the intricacies of navigating romantic feelings for friends. She shares insights on why friendships can fade and the importance of having a clear 'about' for each relationship. Anna highlights different types of friendships and their dynamics, and discusses how to transition from friendship to dating without jeopardizing the bond. They tackle listener dilemmas, such as dealing with apathetic friends and the grief of watching friends marry. Ultimately, Anna underscores that affection alone isn’t enough to maintain meaningful friendships.
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Friendships Need An "About"
- Every friendship needs an "about": a clear topic or shared activity that fuels time together.
- If the about fades, the friendship often becomes nostalgic or dissolves without renegotiation.
Map Friendships By Why They Exist
- Do identify which of the five reasons (career, mating, desirable qualities, emotional support, sociability) your friendships serve.
- Use that to decide which friendships to prioritize or renegotiate.
Agentic Vs Communal Friendships
- Friendships divide into agentic (task-oriented) and communal (emotion-oriented) types with different lifespans.
- Agentic ties drop when they're no longer useful; communal ties persist through personal support.
