I help people die – here’s what they’ve taught me about living | Alua Arthur

May 26, 2025

In this engaging discussion, Alua Arthur, a death doula and founder of Going With Grace, shares her transformative journey from a depressed lawyer searching for purpose to a compassionate guide for the dying. She candidly recounts a life-changing encounter in Cuba that forced her to confront her own mortality. Alua emphasizes the importance of truly living and cherishing each moment, while highlighting the emotional support she offers to those in their final days. Her insights remind us that acknowledging life's end can deepen our appreciation for living.

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INSIGHT

Living With Urgency

Facing death clarifies what truly matters in life.
Living with urgency means being present, not rushing to do everything immediately.

ANECDOTE

Alua's Turning Point in Cuba

Alua Arthur felt like an outsider and struggled with depression while working as a lawyer.
A conversation with a terminally ill woman in Cuba confronted her with mortality and reignited her desire to live fully.

ANECDOTE

Brother-in-Law’s Death Inspired Career

After returning from Cuba, Alua's brother-in-law fell ill and died, deepening her understanding of life and death.
This experience inspired her to become a death doula to support others through dying.

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“I want people to know that their lives matter and that their deaths ultimately will too.” How a journey to Cuba made Alua Arthur confront her own mortality, and ultimately led her to her career as a death doula.

Alua Arthur, a death doula, never expected to find her calling in the space between life and death. Struggling with depression and a sense of not belonging, she was searching for meaning when a chance encounter in Cuba changed everything. After encountering death in her personal life, she began to confront her own mortality—and realize she wasn’t truly living. This moment, combined with the loss of her brother-in-law, set her on a path to becoming a death doula, someone who supports people through their final days. Now, she is an author, a (public speaker), and has dedicated her career to helping others embrace life by acknowledging its inevitable end.

Alua Arthur, a death doula, shares her journey from feeling like an outsider to finding purpose in helping others face death with grace. She describes struggling with depression while working as a lawyer, feeling disconnected from life. A transformative conversation with a terminally ill woman in Cuba made her confront her own mortality and realize the importance of truly living.

When her brother-in-law fell ill and passed away, it deepened her understanding of life and death. She then chose to become a death doula—providing emotional and logistical support to the dying and their loved ones. Through this work, she has learned to live with urgency, be fully present, and embrace herself as she is.

Key Takeaways:

Facing death helps clarify what truly matters in life.
Living fully means embracing every moment without holding back.
Supporting people in their final moments can be a deeply healing and meaningful role.
About Alua Arthur: Alua Arthur is a death doula, end-of-life care expert, and founder of Going with Grace, a nonprofit dedicated to helping individuals navigate the final chapter of their lives. After struggling with depression and identity, Alua found purpose in guiding others through the dying process with compassion and dignity. She has dedicated her life to empowering people to face death with grace, offering support to both individuals and their families.

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