How Psychological Abuse Affects Romantic Relationships & Having the “What Are We” Talk

Episode 314: Emotional and psychological abuse from our past can manifest in insidious ways throughout our lives, frequently in the form of consciously or unconsciously perpetuating that psychological abuse in our current relationships. In this episodes Madelyn explores how trauma from her upbringing has impacted how she approaches relationships today, whether her own, or through her relationship work that she practices with others.

Show Notes:

• Relationships are Madelyn's "playground."
• It's important to define relationships through communication.
• It is not "needy" to have a desire for this identification.
• A lot of men have lost touch with the communication and check-in type of leadership.
• You can leverage the feminine to guide into conversations about relationship state or definition.
• Lead not with the complaint, but with the desire.
• One of the most dangerous places we get ourselves into is when we say we're okay with something, but then more passively punishing our partners for it.
• This punishment, such as withholding love, is actually abusive.
• In October Madelyn's parents had an argument resulting in a quick divorce.
• Madelyn is still working on how to appropriately share her story about her relationship and experiences with her parents.
• Madelyn's sense of emotions and love was very distorted growing up.
• These interactions caused Madelyn's interest in and dedication to relationships.
• Book: Attached by Amir Levine - https://amzn.to/3hYEBUg
• Madelyn's attachment style tends to adjust itself depending on the attachment style of her partner.
• The living situation with the Airstream was mirroring the lack of agency and control from her childhood.
• Recently Madelyn and her partner have taken steps to restore her sense of sovereignty.
• You do not need anything outside of you to have sovereignty.
• Inner Child work is about actually going into your Inner Child trauma, letting it arise, and being there for it.
• Book: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida - https://amzn.to/3i2REUU
• Your man is not going to be inspired to learn about his masculine by you telling him what it means to be masculine.

 

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