Unapologetically Sensitive 062 A Listener Asks, “How Do I Manage Overarousal During an Interview—Because I Can’t Demonstrate What I Know?” with KJ McDaniels
TITLE
A Listener Asks, “How Do I Manage Overarousal During an Interview—Because I Can’t Demonstrate What I Know?”
GUEST
KJ McDaniels
EPISODE OVERVIEW
We talk about assessing skills and using visualization to internalize our competence; how to articulate our need for time to respond to questions during an interview. How to talk about our strengths when asked about challenges we experience. We also talk about how to communicate what our learning process can look like, and to emphasize the strengths we bring. How to create routines and landing spaces in order to keep track of glasses, keys, wallets, etc., and ways to remember appointments.
HIGHLIGHTS
- KJ had an upcoming interview and had some concerns
- KJ was told she needed to respond more in-depth
- Having a high arousal state causes KJ to go into fight or flight
- We talk about needing some tools to be able to stay in the pre-frontal cortex
- KJ had pages on how to navigate the interview, but still was put on the waitlist
- KJ wonders if she may have ADHD as well
- When KJ is under pressure doing her job, she is able to manage her job
- KJ is able to anticipate possible outcomes and is competent in her job
- KJ believes that she struggles with communication due to how she was raised
- We assess if KJ is able to answer the questions when she’s not overaroused
- When we haven’t experienced being seen and heard in the past, those can be small traumas that can impact current performance
- The goal is to create safety in new environments
- We want to create a way to feel safe in new environments
- It might be our “task manager”
- We still need to honor our feelings and all of the parts of us
- The task master often doesn’t have the fear around performing and answering questions
- Using visualizations to affirm—I’ve got this; I’m safe; I’m capable
- We want to shift from our feeling brain into our emotional brain
- We want to find out where that little person wants to go (to a safe place; NOT in the adult interview)
- The Highly Sensitive Person can be great on teams, when conditions/systems aren’t set up to honor everyone
- HSPs are great listeners, and leaders, and we notice those people who aren’t engaging in groups/teams
- For an interview, we want to talk about the things that did work, and our strengths
- Empathy
- Leadership
- Problem-solving skills
- How to answer questions that have to do with challenges
- How to talk about our strengths from a challenge
- How to articulate our depth of processing as a strength
- How to use routine in order to help with challenges with working memory
- HSPs who think they have ADHD, may just be overaroused and overstimulated
- Create routines and a landing spaces for things like keys, glasses, wallet, and other things we need on a regular basis
- We don’t have to feel shame when we let others know what we need in order to perform well
- How to do a visualization at night to imagine ourselves feeling confident and competent to create a sense of calm
- How to use jewelry and clothes to use for subtle self-soothing
- Some of us need to fidget to focus—move when we are doing passive activities (talking on the phone, listening to a podcast or audiobook)
- Do the Superwoman pose to feel empowered and strong
- Our culture rewards extroverts who are external processors, and it’s not geared to honor introverts and HSPs who may need more time to fully process and respond
- HSPs are really going to think about treatment and the best outcomes due to our depth of processing and taking in additional information that others may not pick up on
- We can learn to manage fearful anticipation, and it doesn’t have to prevent us from participating in life
- When we have parents or caregivers who don’t understand how to help us manage our feelings, we don’t learn those tools, and we may think there’s something wrong with us
GUEST BIO
KJ McDaniels is a Highly & Energy Sensitive Person based in Atlanta, GA. Having a love for the biological sciences, she studied Molecular Cell Biology and Immunology in undergraduate school. She is a small business owner in the animal field, future bovine veterinarian, mutifaceted musician and composer, coloratura opera singer, and most important of all, a loving aunt to a 5 year old. She hopes to spread realistic and positive knowledge about Sensitive Persons through continual conversations.
PODCAST HOST
Patricia knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, truthteller and blacksheep. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation and compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other HSPs know that they aren’t alone, and that being an HSP has amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, and creating a lifestyle that honors us
LINKS
KJ’s email—hspetservices@gmail.com
Patricia’s Links
HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/
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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com