The Art Of Understanding Children: A "Back To Basics" Refresher Of The Play Therapy Parenting Model
Nov 1, 2023
auto_awesome
This episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast takes a deep dive into the foundations of the child-centered play therapy model. It emphasizes the importance of understanding that children are driven by emotions, not cognitive reasoning. The podcast discusses building self-esteem and encouraging independence, repairing relationships through apologies and responsibility, and provides practical applications of the model. The episode concludes by highlighting the charity organization Hope Children's Home.
Children are driven by emotions, not cognitive reasoning, so parents should meet them where they are emotionally and understand that rationality is beyond their developmental capabilities.
The parent-child relationship is more important than any individual behavior, skill, or challenge, and can be enhanced by reflecting feelings, choice giving, limit setting, and encouragement.
Deep dives
Foundation: Kids are not rational
Kids are not rational, and it is important for parents to understand this. Children do not have the cognitive capacity to process information on an intellectual level until around the age of 13. Therefore, expecting them to engage in long discussions, comprehend lectures, or answer complex questions is futile. Children live in their emotions, not in their heads, so trying to force them to think and reason leads to frustration for both parents and children. It is crucial for parents to meet children where they are emotionally and accept that rationality is beyond their developmental capabilities.
Practical Application: Reflecting Feelings, Choice Giving, Limit Setting, and Encouragement
The podcast discusses practical applications for parents to engage with their children in a child-centered play therapy approach. Reflecting feelings involves acknowledging and validating a child's emotions, helping them develop emotional intelligence and vocabulary. Choice giving empowers children and fosters decision-making skills. Parents should offer simple choices that can be expressed in 10 words or less. Limit setting involves setting neutral limits on behavior while also reflecting the child's feelings and providing appropriate choices. Encouragement focuses on acknowledging efforts and contributions without using evaluative language like praise. These four pillars serve as tools to enhance the parent-child relationship and promote healthy, self-enhancing behavior.
The Importance of the Parent-Child Relationship
Throughout the podcast episode, the importance of the parent-child relationship is emphasized. The relationship is the foundation for effective parenting and plays a significant role in a child's well-being and behavior. Understanding and accepting that the relationship is more important than any individual behavior, skill, or challenge is vital. By prioritizing the relationship and using the four pillars of reflecting feelings, choice giving, limit setting, and encouragement, parents can cultivate a strong, respectful, and trustful relationship with their children. When the parent-child relationship is solid, children are more likely to exhibit self-enhancing behaviors and experiences.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we get "back to basics" of the Play Therapy Parenting model. I've shared an extensive range of insights over the last 124 episodes and as more listeners join the podcast family, I thought it was time to reflect on the basics. Recently, I had the privilege of conducting a 7-hour training of the house parents and staff at Hope Children's Home (https://hopechildrenshome.org/), a remarkable foster care agency. The experience inspired me to reflect on the foundations of my approach and the child-centered play therapy model. This episode takes a deep dive into critical concepts. Kids aren't rational—they're driven by emotions, not cognitive reasoning. Understanding this shapes the approach to interactions. It's about reflecting feelings, offering choices, setting limits, and providing encouragement. The goal is always preserving a healthy relationship with our kids. If you're catching this for the first time or need a refresher, these principles are pivotal. They create a framework to interact with our children effectively. Remember, the relationship with our kids stands above all else. In case you'd like to get in touch, feel free to reach out at brenna@thekidcounselor.com. I'm here to support you. Mentioned in this episode:
Rules of Thumb all come from Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents by Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006)
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
Get the Snipd podcast app
Unlock the knowledge in podcasts with the podcast player of the future.
AI-powered podcast player
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
Discover highlights
Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode
Save any moment
Hear something you like? Tap your headphones to save it with AI-generated key takeaways
Share & Export
Send highlights to Twitter, WhatsApp or export them to Notion, Readwise & more
AI-powered podcast player
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
Discover highlights
Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode