LessWrong (30+ Karma) You Are Much More Salient To Yourself Than To Everyone Else
Nov 28, 2025
The narrator recalls a nostalgic summer camp heist, highlighting a clever contrast between sneaky and carefree approaches to rule-breaking. They explore the intriguing notion that most people go unnoticed in the modern world, suggesting our brains struggle with this evolutionary mismatch. Invisibility is examined as both a liberating and isolating experience, prompting reflections on feeling unwanted. The discussion wraps up with insights on accepting invisibility and the common tendency to overestimate how much others truly observe us.
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Camp Sneak-Out Reveals Invisibility
- The narrator sneaked out at night with friends to fetch a couch and hid frequently to avoid being seen.
- His friends simply walked openly and nobody noticed them, revealing social invisibility.
You're Far Less Noticed Than You Think
- Most people are effectively invisible to strangers most of the time, so subtle signals rarely attract attention.
- Our brains likely miscalibrate this because ancestral environments had fewer strangers.
Accept Invisibility And Reframe It
- Make peace with being unseen and treat it as safety and freedom rather than rejection.
- Find ways to enjoy life despite invisibility instead of assuming lack of notice equals lack of care.