Polarization Series: The Soul of Civility. Alexandra Hudson
Nov 3, 2023
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Alexandra Hudson, author and professor, discusses the importance of civility in addressing polarization and social order. She emphasizes the need for self-reflection and individual responsibility. The podcast explores the decline of traditional touchstones of identity and the challenge of understanding ideological opponents. It highlights the significance of respecting others and engaging in robust debates for a more meaningful life.
Civility goes beyond politeness and requires seeing others as moral equals, even in deep disagreements.
To combat polarization, we must nourish our souls through friendship, beauty, and curiosity, embracing the complexity of others and ourselves.
Deep dives
The Essence of Civility
Civility goes beyond mere politeness. It is an internal disposition, a way of seeing others as moral equals, even in the midst of deep disagreements. Driven by respect and kindness, civility requires telling hard truths and engaging in robust debate. It demands action, respect for oneself and others, and sets essential parameters for social discourse. Looking back at examples like the civil rights movement, we see how love and respect for those being protested against can drive meaningful change. Civility is not about surface-level manners; it's about cultivating a heart and promoting cooperation.
The Dangers of Political Over-Engagement
As traditional touchstones of meaning, such as family, friendship, and community, decline in importance, people have turned to politics to fill the void. But when politics becomes all-encompassing, it hinders rational conversation and forces an existential sense of division. We need to recognize that politics is one aspect of life, and clinging to it too tightly undermines democratic processes and institutions. To combat the polarization crisis, we must nourish our souls by embracing friendship across differences, experiencing beauty, and cultivating curiosity, enabling us to see the complexity of others and ourselves.
Reclaiming Our Humanity for a Better Society
In the face of profound division and dehumanization, reclaiming a high view of humanity and fostering civility is crucial. Understanding that being civil does not mean avoiding conflict, but respecting others and engaging in constructive debates, is essential. Just as Queen Victoria broke a rule of etiquette to put her guest at ease, civility demands action and offers parameters for discourse, promoting peaceful cooperation. By embracing civility as a disposition and recognizing the value of others' viewpoints, we can work towards a society that thrives through conflict and fosters respect, peace, and cooperation.
It's easy to look at the impacts of rigid polarization and blame our leaders and political parties, the media, or the education system. In this episode, we hear an argument that the first thing all of us should do is focus on what we can control: ourselves. We discuss how to learn to live with others despite deep divisions.
All democracies need protests and debates to flourish. But we also need to respect ourselves and acknowledge the dignity of others.
Alexandra Hudson is the author of the new book, "The Soul of Civility", and an adjunct professor in philanthropy at Indiana University. She argues that civility is a key solution for polarization and a breakdown in social order. In her writing she examines how civility—a respect for the humanity of others—transcends political disagreements. Civility, she writes, is not a technique, but a disposition: "a way of seeing others as beings endowed with dignity and inherently valuable."
The divided state of the world "is a timeless problem. It's an intractable problem, but there's no policy solutions or simple cure," Lexi tells us. "It requires constant vigilance on behalf of each of us. That's humbling."
We learn about the crucial difference between outward politeness, polish or poise, and civility which requires constant internal work and the application of true character. We individually have the power to improve and change, Lexi says. Her book looks at arguments for civility from the ancient times until the present day.
Recommendation: Richard recently read "The Spinning Heart" by the Irish writer Donal Ryan. This short, powerful novel set in a small town in Ireland in the wake of the 2008 financial collapse. People are left without work, with routine and meaning in their lives. Each short chapter is from the vantage point of a different speaker who has been wounded — by the economy as well as by their parents, their lovers, by life. The book is funny and poignant.