Life Check Yourself 431 – This Mindset Shift Guarantees A Great Date! (How to Reduce Anxiety by 70 Percent with Jamie Heberlein

Marni welcomes well-being life coach, trainer and consultant Jamie Heberlein where the duo discuss how to eliminate anxieties when it comes to dating. Having been through it herself, Jamie shares nuggets of wisdom in the form of tips that helped her break free from expectations, pressure, and disappointment when it comes to dating. Part of it is learning that one person’s reaction or action is not a negative reflection of you as a person.

 

·         Transformation through self-compassion

·         How to balance your approach to life

·         Getting rid of external validation

 

Are You Forcing it? [10:34]

 

With the whole manifestation trend, it’s a thin line separating between actually putting that energy out there and obsessing over it. It’s a trap many women fall into, which only ends up making them feel worse about themselves. What happens is that you put yourself down when what you had in mind doesn’t manifest in the way you wanted.

 

I start going negative. So, it really helped change my mind set to say that I’m going out into the world to have experiences and meet people, and that’s kind of it.

 

Slow Down [14:11]

 

It’s sometimes a good idea to take pause when immersed in the hectic environment that is the dating scene. People often forget but take a minute to step back and figure out what are the things you’re not being true to yourself about. Give yourself permission to do the behind-the-scenes work. That’s usually the work that helps you figure yourself out.

 

I think the non-negotiables of what are the things that I will not negotiate just helped me ground who I am. And I think that even gave me confidence.

 

Switching from Subjective to Objective[22:08]

 

It’s the stories we tell ourselves that matter. When it comes to someone not calling us back or canceling a date, it’s important not to attach too much meaning to that. Instead, sit back and look at it objectively before thinking negatively about yourself.

 

It will happen when it’s supposed to happen. Trust the process. Do the steps to reach out to different guys, they reply…Or they don’t. Then they’re not my person.

 

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