87 | Chasing Bold Ideas & Living Free From Shame (Leary Gates)

Leary Gates is a leadership coach, business creative, entrepreneur, bi-vocational leader, podcast host and non-profit leader. Leary's primary interest has been to unearth a person’s (or firm’s) core value and find creative ways to grow it. He is the founder of BoldPath Life Strategies co-host of the Bold Idea Podcast. He's a husband of 39 years and dad to four kids.

Conversation Notes:

• 2:55 - Leary introduces himself
• 4:15 - Leary explains his passion to chase bold ideas. "So many ideas, so little time"
• 5:40 - Put your faith to work. Don't get stuck.
• 6:30 - "To redeem something is to release it from captivity"
• 9:01 - "What makes me a strong dad is having a strong marriage"
• 9:55 - Having a strong relationship with our spouse can give us clarity on our blind spots. Our spouse can see things that we can't see
• 11:49 - Dad Advice >> The book he would send back to himself - Carol Dweck's Mindset
• 12:20 - We do not need to prove ourselves to be worthy. It's not about performance, it's about effort.
• 13:08 - "Understand the impact of shame on your own life and how easy it is to impart it on your kids"
• 13:25 - Reinventure Me Podcast on Mindset
• 14:58 - Reflecting on how his dad was an anti role model
• 15:44 - The need to find other role models when his dad was not able to play that role
• 17:54 - The commitment to be opposite of what his father was. To connect and pursue his kids.
• 20:01 - We ask God what He wants to teach us... Asking "pain escape" questions.
• 20:29 - Maybe God isn't trying to get us to learn anything. Maybe God just wants us to be faithful role models for our kids to see what it's like for their parents to go through a challenging time.
• 22:12 - Leary explains the benefits of journalling. Creating self-reflection time. It helps him get outside himself by getting his thoughts on the page.
• 23:00 - The importance of making sure both parents are aligned. It's the child's job to get agreement from both parents.
• 23:40 - "We are more interested in unity than we are interested in your needs being met"
• 24:38 - The First Four Minutes - a business principle and a family principle. The first 4-minutes of any interaction sets the tone for the entire interaction. When Leary got home, the first 4-minutes were for him to connect with his wife.
• 26:00 - The Relationship Test - Blog Post
• 27:50 - The pursuits that we invest in can either enhance or detract
• 28:35 - The need for rest. We can't just keep pushing for more and more.
• 29:39 - Stories of failure as a dad
• 30:05 - Becoming overly frustrated with his son. Triggering each other into arguments.
• 31:53 - The honor of being a dad. We can't see this when we're right in the middle of parenting.
• 32:45 - Just stay with it. Lean into the dad life. Embrace this role as a holy calling. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Take care of yourself.
• 34:50 - What Leary hopes his kids will say about his life at his funeral someday. That his kids will feel listened to without being judged. The gift of being present and not judging others.
• 35:56 Leary's prayer

Episode Links:

• www.learygates.com/
• Bold Idea Podcast
• Leary's Book List
• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Paperback (Carol S. Dweck)