My mother (who I love and adore) moved to town in January to be closer to our family. It’s been wonderful to be able to call her up to see if she wants to go to dinner on a random Wednesday. So last week, I did just that. Her response? “I have to check my calendar.” Wait, what? As she thumbed through her calendar looking for a free night, I started to think to myself “am I failing at friendship?”

I’m exaggerating, because I do have deep friendships and very dear friends here. It’s just that life is busy and my introverted self is more comfortable at home on a Friday night in my pajamas than going to meet up with a friend. My husband, on the other hand, is very quick to go play tennis or grab a beer whenever he gets the opportunity. This week, we got curious about friendship with author, life coach, and friendship expert, Shari Leid. We explored why women form deeper friendships than men and if we are living in a friendship recession. It was a discussion that made us realize not only how we, as men and women, often define friendship in different ways, but also gave us a chance to see what we can learn from each other in terms of being a better friend.

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Kim and Penn are online content creators known for their award-winning videos, including original music, song parodies, and comedy sketches. Their videos have resulted in over 2 billion views and 8 million followers across their social media platforms since they (accidentally) went viral in 2013. They have a best-selling book on marriage communication, a top-rated podcast, a fun-filled family card game, and most recently, they were the winners on Season 33 of The Amazing Race.

The Holderness Family Podcast is edited and engineered by Max Trujillo of Trujillo Media and produced by Ann Marie Taepke, Julie Frahm, and Sam Allen.

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