S3E21 - Helping Kids Speak Up in Co-Parenting Situations

In this episode, I answer a question from Deborah about co-parenting, shared custody, and how to support a 12-year-old who doesn't want to go back and forth between homes. I explain why, even at this age, kids are still not comfortable using words to handle emotionally charged situations, especially when feelings are involved. Expecting a child to clearly and calmly advocate for themselves in a tense relational situation often reflects adulthood bias, not developmental reality.

I walk through why it still matters for the child's voice to be heard, but how parents can support that in developmentally appropriate ways. Instead of forcing a single approach, I explain how offering choices around how a child communicates gives them ownership, buy-in, and a sense of control. I also talk about why adults often focus too much on a child's words instead of the message underneath, and how shifting that focus can change the outcome of difficult conversations.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.