87: Financial Infidelity and Abuse in Romantic Relationships

Money and relationships are complicated enough. But when secrecy, control, or manipulation enter the picture, things get heavy fast. Financial infidelity and financial abuse are two topics that almost no one talks about openly… even though so many people quietly live through them.

In this episode of Money Feels, we’re breaking down what these terms actually mean, how common they are, and why they’re often misunderstood. We unpack the ways money can become a weapon, how financial control intersects with safety, and why these issues show up in all kinds of relationships, not just the stereotypes we’ve been taught.

We’re your hosts, Alyssa and Bridget. Welcome to the podcast where we talk about the emotional side of money and how trust, power, shame, and survival shape our financial lives far more than income ever could.

Content Note: This episode discusses financial infidelity, financial abuse, economic control, and their connection to intimate partner violence. Please listen in a way that feels safe for you.

In today’s episode, we discuss:

• What financial infidelity actually is
• How common are financial secrets in relationships
• Why financial infidelity is rooted in shame, not spreadsheets
• What financial and economic abuse can look like
• Why financial abuse shows up in almost every case of domestic violence
• Red flags to watch for in your own relationship
• What makes secrecy harmful vs. protective
• The difference between financial conflict, financial mismanagement, and financial harm

This episode explores what happens when money becomes a tool of control, why secrecy thrives in shame, and how to start naming what’s happening if something doesn’t feel right.

Canadian Resources & Support

If this episode brings something up for you or if you’re experiencing financial harm, these Canadian resources can help:

● Canadian Centre for Women’s Empowerment (CCFWE)
Economic abuse education, survivor tools, and multilingual fact sheets.
https://ccfwe.org
● Canadian Bankers’ Association — Financial Abuse Support & Provincial Resources
Information + links to help centres across Canada.
https://cba.ca
● Tech Safety Canada — Digital Financial Abuse Toolkit
Support for tech-enabled financial control (online banking, passwords, apps).
https://techsafety.ca
● NICE (National Initiative for the Care of the Elderly)
Resources for preventing and responding to financial abuse of older adults.
https://nicenet.ca
● ShelterSafe Canada
Find local women’s shelters and domestic violence supports by province.
https://sheltersafe.ca

You deserve safety, autonomy, and access to your own financial life.

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