Nonviolent Communication with Danny Cohen

This conversation connects systemic change and big paradigm shifts to our everyday behaviors. The dominant way that we think about and speak to one another reflects a story of separation and has us regularly in a state of fight or flight. It lends itself to right/wrong thinking, extracting from one another and keeping score.

The principles and practices of nonviolent communication (NVC) offer an alternative model for human relationality, one that fosters safety, compassion, and connection. Understanding the tenets of NVC helps us embody the future we want to move towards, one rooted in abundance, cooperation, and interconnection.

Our guest for this episode, Danny Cohen, teaches nonviolent communication. His work integrates contemplative spiritual practice and wisdom traditions with trauma-informed therapeutics and practical tools for cultivating authentic human connection.

In this conversation Jenny and Danny discuss:

• Dominant vs. alternative paradigms of human motivation and behavior [3:07]
• The dominant paradigm and the inner critic [5:00]
• The dominant paradigm, patriarchy, scarcity, and judgement of others [6:05]
• Narratives of good vs. evil, compassion vs. violence [7:15]
• The denial of choice and responsibility in the dominant paradigm [8:55]
• The effect on our nervous systems of common ways of communicating [11:49]
• The pervasiveness of blame [15:03]
• Connecting to the intelligence of the body through NVC [17:44]
• Myths and emotional response [20:31]
• Embodied experience and systemic change [22:11]
• The story of humanity underlying NVC [23:31]
• Empathy, vulnerability, safety, and human connection [29:30]
• Reframing unpleasant emotions [32:55]
• Taking responsibility, making requests, willingness to hear no [36:50]
• No as a yes to another need [40:20]
• Zero sum vs. win-win outcomes [41:20]
• NVC and parenting [44:40]
• NVC, the gift model of exchange and how it reflects a relational vs. transactional way of being [50:25]

Resources:

• The Art of Dialog, a short introduction to NVC
• Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life Marshall Rosenberg, Arun Gandhi
• Reweaving our Human Fabric Miki Kashtan

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