Everyone Wants A Village, But Nobody Wants To Be A Villager...

Jan 28, 2026

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A friend said something to me a few months ago (while I was complaining) that stopped me in my tracks: “Everyone wants a village — but nobody wants to be a villager.”

And once I heard it, I couldn’t un-know it. So many of us (AKA, me!) say we want deeper friendships, stronger community, people who show up for us… yet we’re participating in a culture that prioritizes convenience, hyper-independence, comfort, and productivity over closeness. We’ve optimized ourselves out of connection. We interact with services, not people. We protect our peace so hard, we don’t even consider the needs of others. We complain about loneliness and how hard it is to make friends as adults, but most people opt out of the effort and inconvenience that comes with community and togetherness.

So today, we’re unpacking the loneliness epidemic, the friendship recession, and what modern society is getting wrong about community-building. Most importantly, we cover how to actually be a villager, even when you’re busy, burnt out, uncomfortable, or socially awkward.

We weren’t meant to do life alone. And the village you’re looking for might start with you.

If you’ve been craving deeper friendships, more support and belonging, and being a part of something bigger than yourself, this episode is your reminder that community is built through effort, presence, generosity, and a willingness to be inconvenienced for the sake of care and connection.

Tune in to hear:

What it really means to “be a villager” (and why closeness comes at a cost)
The role convenience culture plays in loneliness and isolation
The mental and physical health benefits of strong social ties
Why self-care is overrated, because healing isn’t a solo sport
How to start building your village through consistent micro-connections
Reciprocity, generosity, and why community is about equity, not equality
Saying yes more, and becoming a supportive attendee
How to avoid social burnout and people-pleasing
How to show up as a village leader (the art of hosting and building what doesn’t exist)
Taking social risks and dealing with rejection
Letting yourself show up imperfectly — messy house, bad mood, and all