Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast From Helicopter to Helper: Navigating Your Child's College Transition and Beyond
Growing up doesn't end at 18—it's just beginning. Dr. Sara Klein, Vice President for Student Affairs at Stevens Institute of Technology, delivers a powerful message about the college transition that resonates far beyond freshman year: parents need to back off.
After decades of helicopter parenting from preschool through high school, many parents struggle to step back when their children enter college. We've become accustomed to tracking every aspect of our children's lives—from daily school reports to real-time location apps. But this well-intentioned involvement can sabotage the very independence our adult children need to develop.
Dr. Klein shares several specific strategies for parents navigating this transition. She recommends avoiding campus visits during the critical first six weeks, allowing students to manage homesickness and roommate conflicts themselves, and establishing clear communication boundaries instead of expecting constant contact. When students call upset, parents should listen without immediately solving problems—empowering young adults to develop their own solutions.
What makes this conversation so valuable is how these principles extend beyond college. Whether your child is 18 or 38, the fundamental challenge remains the same: how do we support without suffocating? How do we love without controlling? As Dr. Klein eloquently puts it, "Allow your child to grow into the adult that you want them to be... the way that you love them as an adult is different."
The most profound gift we can give our adult children isn't solving their problems or protecting them from discomfort—it's believing in their capacity to navigate life's challenges independently while remaining a steady, supportive presence in their lives. Ready to transform your relationship with your adult child? Start by biting your tongue and taking a step back.
Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
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