Supporting a Partner with Depression: What to Say, What Not to Do, and How to Help

When someone you love is struggling with depression, it’s natural to want to help—but knowing how to help can feel overwhelming. In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, Elliot vulnerably shares the questions he wishes he’d asked years earlier while navigating his partner’s depression.

With insights from clinical social worker Mike Stens, we explore:

• Early warning signs of depression in a loved one
• The difference between supporting and trying to “fix” your partner
• What to say (and what not to say) when your partner is struggling
• Why couples therapy and family involvement matter
• The impact of medication side effects and what families should know
• The long-term outlook for relationships when depression is involved
• Hopeful reminders that depression is treatable and recovery is possible

This episode is for spouses, partners, and anyone trying to understand how to love and support someone living with depression.

Primary Topics Covered:

• Misconceptions partners often have about depression
• Recognizing early signs of depression in a spouse
• Common mistakes people make when trying to “fix” depression
• The importance of empathy and presence over solutions
• Couples therapy and family support in recovery
• Addressing concerns about medication side effects
• Long-term relationship challenges and hope for stability
• How conversations and small actions can strengthen connection

Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro and framing the episode
 01:27 - Why partners’ questions about depression matter
 02:19 - Elliot shares his story and questions
 03:25 - Early signs of depression in a partner
 04:55 - Why you can’t “fix” depression for someone else
 05:59 - How to support instead of blaming yourself
 07:06 - Shifting from fixing to helping
 07:24 - The role of conversations and shared activities
 08:37 - When (and how) to talk about depression
 09:20 - Concerns about medication and family safety
 10:26 - Why couples should meet with doctors together
 11:03 - Long-term relationship concerns and realities
 12:41 - Black-and-white thinking about the future
 13:46 - What couples need to know about recovery and hope
 14:43 - Why not knowing what to do is normal
 15:36 - Closing reflections and resources

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