DA414 | The Most Important 9 Minutes of Your Kid's Day, Choosing Contentment, and Lessons from Sourdough (Dan Tinquist)

Dec 25, 2025

Dan Tinquist, a fatherhood coach and creator of transformative parenting frameworks, shares insights on connecting with kids in just nine crucial minutes daily. He emphasizes the importance of genuine reconnection through morning, after-school, and bedtime rituals. Tinquist discusses fostering a home where children feel safe to fail, the pitfalls of over-teaching, and the need for planning family adventures together. Plus, he offers a unique parallel between sourdough baking and parenting, highlighting patience and embracing imperfection.

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ANECDOTE

Teen Confirms Home As A Safe Space

Dan shares a moment when his 13-year-old declared he feels safe to make mistakes and share his heart at home.
That response signaled leadership from the child and progress toward an interdependent family culture.

ANECDOTE

A Child's Camp Lesson Heals Sibling Rift

Jeff recounts his nine-year-old teaching forgiveness at bedtime, which led to a tearful reconciliation between siblings.
That short tender moment repaired relational strain from the earlier chaotic evening.

ADVICE

Practice See, Hear, Know Daily

Do use the See, Hear, Know practice to study your child: observe them, ask open questions, and reflect on who God made them to be.
Do aim for short one-on-one moments daily (even 1–3 minutes) to build attunement and gratitude.

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What if the secret to connecting with your kids wasn't more time—but better minutes?

✅ The See, Hear, Know framework for becoming a student of your kids

✅ Why over-teaching actually backfires (and what to do instead)

✅ How to plan your family's year WITH them, not just for them

SUMMARY:

What if the most impactful moments with your kids are just nine minutes a day? In this episode, fatherhood coach Dan Tinquist shares how morning, afternoon, and evening connection points can transform your relationship with your kids. You'll also hear why over-teaching actually backfires, how to build a family culture where your kids feel safe to fail, and the surprising parallels between making sourdough bread and raising kids.

TAKEAWAYS:

The most important nine minutes of your kid's day are the first three when they wake up, the three when you reconnect after school or work, and the last three before bed.
If every moment is a teachable moment, you will teach them nothing. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pray instead of lecture.
We don't rest from our work—we work from our rest. Contentment today fuels driven action tomorrow.
Building a family culture where kids feel safe to fail means they'll run to you when they mess up, not from you.
Planning your year with your family—not for them—creates ownership and adventure everyone can look forward to.

GUEST:

Dan Tinquist is a fatherhood coach, host of the Confidad Podcast, and creator of the Time Well Spent Method and Family Culture Framework. He coaches dads from around the world to move from surviving to thriving in their homes. Dan and his wife have four boys and live in Minnesota.

QUOTES:

"If every moment is a teachable moment, I will teach them nothing."
"Control is an illusion. It is chaos that we are attempting to bring peace into."
"We don't rest from our work. We work from our rest."
"His mercies are new every single morning. When's the last time you lived a perfect day?"
"I'm going to pray instead of open my big fat mouth and tell them why I'm right and they're wrong."

LINKS:

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Confidad Podcast
Dan Tinquist's Fatherhood Coaching: https://confidad.com/