What Makes Relationships Last with John & Julie Gottman

If you've ever wondered what ends a relationship fastest, these two guests have the answer. Drs. John and Julie Gottman cofounders of The Gottman Institute, both world-renowned in their field, have devoted their lives to the research and practice of helping people create healthy, long-lasting relationships. They're joining me on the show and I'm thrilled because Kate and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and I want to know, are we doing it right? Well, I know we must have some of the good attributes of a healthy relationship, but I learned more about what works and what doesn't.

It's been the life work of Drs. John and Julie Gottman as researchers and clinical psychologists to understand exactly what goes into successful relationships. Their work is a culmination of over 40 years of research and includes the most extensive study on marital stability. They've learned by studying more than 3000 couples and have used their findings to develop their work in helping people have better relationships in love and in life. On the show, we talk about their work and their latest book, The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy. We go into the depths to discover more about how good relationships work. Let's get into this! Here are just some of the highlights from the show:

• [04:23] Intro and background
• [5:37] Over 50 years in the making
• [10:01] The things that successful couples avoid
• [13:49] What does work and creating love maps
• [22:19] Conflicts and underlying dreams
• [43:28] The role of asking good questions
• [47:58] Community is declining in America
• [58:45] What is it about the human condition that makes it so that we need this big stuff to happen (trauma/crisis) to look deeper?

Enjoy!