358: Is My Friend Blowing Her IVF Money on Gifts? | Feedback Friday
May 29, 2020
This episode dives into a friend's extravagant spending habits while her dream of motherhood remains unfulfilled due to financial constraints. The hosts explore how to approach her with tact about redirecting her resources. They also grapple with job hunting challenges post-pandemic and the significance of passion over formal experience. Emotional support in friendships and navigating family dynamics take center stage, while the importance of networking and personal growth add a layer of inspiration.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Approaching a Friend About Finances
If a friend overspends while claiming they can't afford IVF, approach the topic gently.
Frame your concern as care for their well-being and happiness, not judgment.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Career Transition Advice
Secure short-term income while job searching, setting budget-based deadlines for your ideal field.
Consider staffing agencies, trades (after shadowing), or pursuing your Master's in Public Health if feasible.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Setting Boundaries with BPD
Set firm boundaries with loved ones diagnosed with BPD to protect yourself and encourage their growth.
Seek support from therapists and resources like Al-Anon meetings or the book "Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder."
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In this book, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which he calls 'love languages'. By learning these languages, individuals can discover their unique love languages and those of their loved ones, leading to deeper and richer levels of intimacy. The book includes practical steps and a love language assessment to help strengthen relationships. It emphasizes that people tend to give love in the way they prefer to receive it, and understanding these differences can improve communication and relationship satisfaction.
Your friend wants to be a mother more than anything, but says she and her husband can’t afford the IVF it would take to make this possible. On the other hand, she habitually buys expensive gifts for everyone in your social circle. Is there any socially acceptable way for you to have a conversation with her about priorities? We’ll tackle this and more here on Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn’t already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let’s dive in!
Is your friend — who says she wants to be a mother more than anything — blowing the money she could be using for IVF on expensive gifts for everyone else? And if so, is there any socially acceptable way for you to have a discussion with her about it?
You were on the path to a job in a new field until the pandemic hit, and now you’re finding it hard to land interviews without past experience on your resume. Should you go back to your old field in the meantime until things go more or less back to normal?
There’s a gap on your resume where you took a year off of college to go to drug and alcohol rehab. Is there a way to spin this positively?
While you’ve sought therapy to mitigate the effects of your father’s abuse as a child, your BPD-diagnosed sister hasn’t — and it causes her to act out in ways that are dangerous to herself and others. How can you best help her?
How do you decide when it’s worth pushing through something (like learning a new language), or quitting because it causes anxiety and isn’t pleasant to endure at the time?
Life Pro Tip: If a bee colony has set up a hive that you need removed, don’t call the exterminator. Google local beekeepers, who will relocate the hive often for free. This is an easy way to be nice to the bees and to your wallet!
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