Neurosurgery is known as one of the most precise and demanding specialties in medicine. It requires absolute technical mastery in a surgical field where a millimeter’s difference can be the deciding factor between lifelong disability or a life restored. But what happens when a surgeon trained to be objective and detached experiences deep personal loss? How does it reshape the way they practice medicine?
In this episode, we are joined by Joseph “Jody” Stern, MD, a neurosurgeon and the author of Grief Connects Us: A Neurosurgeon's Lessons on Love, Loss, and Compassion (2021). His book is an honest, deep, personal reflection on how losing his sister shattered the emotional armor he had built as a surgeon — and in doing so, made him a better doctor. Over the course of this conversation,
Dr. Stern discusses the complexity of neurosurgery and what it teaches about the fragility of life; why the way we talk to patients and families matters just as much as the procedures we perform; how his own grief changed the way he approaches medicine; and the pressure in medicine to stay emotionally detached and why that might actually be harming both doctors and patients. This is a conversation that extends beyond grief. It's about how we, as doctors, patients, and people, can show up for each other in ways that truly matter.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
2:37 - How Dr. Stern became drawn to neurosurgery and what has kept him in the field
6:00 - Dr. Stern’s quest to integrate palliative care into neurosurgery
10:06 - Why medical training often makes it hard for trainees to remember their humanistic calling
15:54 - The importance of shifting medical training to focus to more on patient-centered care
23:41 - Rethinking medicine to better honor the humanity of the patient
31:41 - Developing “emotional agility” as a physician
37:09 - The personal and professional insights that Dr. Stern experienced when he helped his sister through her battle with leukemia
47:47 - How to overcome compassion fatigue
54:15 - Dr. Stern’s advice for new clinicians
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