Psychology In Seattle Podcast Limerence Deep Dive (Chapter 4 - Intrusive Fantasies and Distorted Signals)
Dec 1, 2025
Delve into the world of limerence as Dr. Kirk Honda explores intrusive thoughts and their prevalence. He reveals how these thoughts invade daily life, often feeling akin to addiction and compulsive behaviors. Personal quotes illustrate the relentless nature of these preoccupations. The discussion extends to the fine line between daydreaming and maladaptive fantasies, highlighting the relief they offer yet their potential for addiction. Strategies for managing these thoughts, including mindfulness and creative outlets, provide listeners with practical tools.
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Intrusive Thoughts Define Limerence
- Intrusive thoughts are the hallmark symptom of limerence and usually feel uncontrollable and constant.
- Dr. Kirk Honda emphasizes these thoughts can persist 24/7 for years and distinguish pathological limerence from a normal crush.
Thoughts Intrude Even During Big Moments
- Respondents described the thoughts intruding during movies, funerals, and conversations, showing their pervasiveness.
- One person wrote it was present "every waking moment," even during the most exciting parts of a movie.
Limerence Shows Addiction-Like Patterns
- Dr. Honda links the persistence of intrusive thoughts to addiction-like brain processes rather than normal infatuation.
- He suggests addiction neuroscience partly explains why limerent thinking can be relentless and compulsive.