Inside Secrets from a Women's Sex & Intimacy Coach (with Blaire Lindsay)

#33: Generally speaking, men love fixing problems.

When a woman comes to you with what sounds like a problem, it can be difficult to know:

a) Is she asking me to help solve it? b) Is she asking me to listen?

Bryan and I have coached frustrated and exasperated men who have gone into “fix it mode” and been on the receiving end of these all-time classics:

“You’re not hearing me.” “I just want you to listen.” “Why are you always telling me what to do??”

Our special guest today, Blaire Lindsay, a mentor and intimacy coach to women gives one simple way of clearing it all up.

THE ONE QUESTION THAT’LL HEAD OFF HOURS OF CONFUSION AND CONFLICT AT THE PASS

For situations when Blaire is bringing something of importance or emotionally charged to husband Chris, they’ve instituted a single, simple question that she refers to as a “lift raft.”

Chris will ask:

“Do you need empathy, or strategy right now?”

 

Boom.

The elegant simplicity of this question does a few things:

1. Chris now knows whether Blaire needs him to listen, needs him to help fix, or both
2. This question also causes Blaire to pause and get clear on what she truly wants and needs from Chris
3. Chris demonstrates his ability to guide and provide a gentle structure for Blaire, which deepens her trust and feelings of safety.

Fellas, try this out and let us know how it’s working.

ALSO IN THIS EPISODE

Blaire Lindsay primarily coaches two types of women:

1. The “always doing” woman whose heading towards burnout (or already there)
2. The woman who doesn’t have direction and is frozen, stuck

Fellas, if either of these sounds like an important woman in your life, this episode has some serious insights for you:

• How to cultivate DEEP LISTENING that women crave from men
• Understanding a woman’s AROUSAL TRAJECTORY, how it’s different than ours, and how to learn to dance with your partner’s unique style
• Blaire answers “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WIFE AFTER GIVING BIRTH?” Many new fathers want to know what happened to his partner’s sex drive and why her focus on him dwindles…and what to do about it.
• How to express desire to a woman in a NON-NEEDY, non-entitled way…that’ll magnetize her towards you.
• Ideas to float to your partner to allow her to increase her relationship with PLEASURE (in case this isn’t obvious for you: the more your partner can find pleasure for herself, the more pleasure will roll off to you)

Blaire’s Website: https://blaire-lindsay.com Blaire’s Instagram: @BlaireLindsay Blaire’s e-Book: Essential Orgasm