3 Takeaways

The Surprising Truth About Grief, Loss and Resilience (#270)

Oct 7, 2025
In this discussion, George Bonanno, a Columbia University professor and an expert on grief, shares eye-opening insights on how people actually cope with loss. He debunks the myth that grief is purely overwhelming and points out that many recover quickly, often experiencing moments of joy amid sorrow. Bonanno reflects on how cultural misconceptions about grief stem from 19th-century romanticism. He also emphasizes that resilience is common and encourages flexible coping strategies to navigate challenges, providing a refreshing perspective on grief and trauma.
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INSIGHT

Most People Bounce Back After Loss

  • Most bereaved people struggle briefly and then return to normal functioning.
  • George Bonanno's research shows resilience is the common outcome after loss.
ANECDOTE

Laughing Days After Major Loss

  • Bonanno describes bereaved people laughing and feeling joy days after a loss during interviews.
  • He reports clear facial indicators showing rapid shifts from sadness to positive emotion.
INSIGHT

Cultural Myths Inflate Grief's Permanence

  • Cultural views of grief are distorted by 19th-century romanticism and early literature.
  • Bonanno argues those sources overemphasized rare, prolonged grief rather than common resilient responses.
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