Dr. Peter Larson, a licensed clinical psychologist and creator of Prepare-Enrich, shares transformative insights on parenting. He emphasizes the power of influence over control, advocating for moments like 'lighting up' when your kids enter the room. Larson narrates a touching story of a father who supported his son in the hospital, illustrating lasting impact through presence. He also discusses the importance of community in parenting and highlights how children observe and learn from their parents, even in seemingly small moments.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
28 Days At The Hospital
Peter's father visited him in the hospital every day for 28 days after a severe leg break.
That consistent presence modeled sacrifice and deep commitment to his children.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Fan Their Natural Gifts
Observe each child's natural wiring and fan those intrinsic motivations like leadership or service.
Use assessments or conversations to help them discover what energizes them.
insights INSIGHT
Influence Over Control
You can't control your kids but you can maximize your influence by creating conditions and modeling behavior.
Influence is a continuum, not a binary, so prepare the environment and trust the process.
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What if the secret to great fatherhood isn't about being in control, but about maximizing your influence? In this From the Vault episode, Dr. Peter Larson shares the game-changing perspective that shifted his entire approach to parenting. From lighting up every time your kid walks in the room to understanding their unique motivational wiring, you'll discover practical ways to build relationships that last. Plus, hear about the dad who visited his son in the hospital 28 days straight and how that legacy of showing up continues today.
Takeaways:
Influence beats control every time. You can't control your kids, but you can maximize your influence through intentional relationship-building.
Light up when they walk in the room. Treat your children like rock stars entering the room—this simple shift builds their security and connection with you.
Your kids are always watching. From Christmas tree coasters to how you handle flight delays, you're modeling solutions, character, and faith even when you don't realize it.
Outsource positive influence wisely. Youth groups, mentors, and camps aren't competition—they're allies in raising kids who love Jesus.
Don't ride their emotional roller coaster. Be the stable sidewalk they can return to, not another passenger on their ups and downs.
Mine gold from parents ahead of you. The best parenting advice often comes from observing and asking questions of families you respect.
Guest:
Dr. Peter Larson is a licensed clinical psychologist and assessment expert who has spent over 20 years developing tools that help people understand their unique design and motivation. He's the creator behind Prepare-Enrich, a premarital assessment used by pastors worldwide, and currently works with GLUE developing assessments for churches and the True Motivate tool for colleges. Peter and his wife Heather have three adult children and live near Minneapolis. He's passionate about helping parents move from control to influence in their relationships with their kids.
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