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Rosebud Baker: A Joke About Lactation Consultants

Nov 26, 2025
Rosebud Baker, a talented stand-up comedian and writer known for her dark humor, shares her hilarious take on lactation consultants. She humorously recounts her experience refusing to breastfeed in the hospital, delighting in the absurdity of the consultants' relentless approach. Baker also critiques the hospital's breastfeeding incentives, revealing a tip about how they earn accreditation points. Her clever storytelling culminates in a comical moment where she fakes a latch just to escape the situation, showcasing her sharp wit.
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ANECDOTE

Faking Breastfeeding To Escape Hospital Pressure

  • Rosebud Baker recounts refusing to breastfeed and faking it in the hospital to avoid persistent lactation consultants.
  • She describes miming breastfeeding until a consultant declared the baby latched, forcing her to interrupt the charade.
INSIGHT

Persistent Help Can Feel Like Pressure

  • Lactation consultants often present with upbeat, persistent behavior that can feel intrusive to mothers.
  • Rosebud highlights how that personality type can make new mothers feel pressured and uncomfortable.
INSIGHT

Incentives Can Turn Care Into A Game

  • Hospitals may incentivize breastfeeding via accreditation metrics, creating pressure on new mothers to comply.
  • Rosebud frames this as a competitive, gamified system that motivates staff rather than supporting mothers' choices.
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